What to Do With an Over-groomed Man
Shallon Lester
What to Do With an Over-groomed Man
Just ask Marie Antoinette -- every revolution has its downside.
The metrosexual insurgency meant that men now had two eyebrows and jeans that actually fit. Unfortunately, some guys took the metro look a little too far, leaving us girls to deal with the dreaded over-groomed man.
After dating too many guys who raided my beauty drawer, I've identified a few of the most egregious over-grooming offenses your dude might commit and how you can deftly diffuse them -- no bloodshed required.
The Problem: He shaves his chest.
I always tell my boyfriends that humans aren't lizards; we have hair. Most girls don't want to cuddle up to a hairless reptilian man, and even fewer love snuggling with a cactus, which is exactly how it feels when the hair starts to grow back. Gently remind your man that the sexiest men -- Wolverine, Don Draper, that Dothraki king from "Game of Thrones" -- are far from hairless. But if he does insist on pectoral landscaping, insist that he gets waxed for a smoother, un-razor bumpy result.
The Problem: You aren't allowed to touch his hair.
I hate it when I reach for my guy's hair and he dodges me like I've got a fistful of dog poop. Next time your beau is fresh from the shower, pounce on him and give him a head massage. Gush about how much you love to stroke his locks, and lean in for a few kisses. He'll start to associate touchable hair with touching you. So when you replace his industrial-strength hair shellac with softer products, he'll be all too eager for you to get grabby.
The Problem: Overly coiffed eyebrows.
You can't blame a guy for being confused when it comes to eyebrows. We hound them about unibrows, but they'll end up looking too well-groomed if they spend a little too much time in front of the mirror with their tweezers. Make sure your man only grooms the underside of his brows and leaves the top arch alone, which will keep their natural, masculine shape. Again, remind him that the hottest guys aren't necessarily the most picture-perfect.
Shallon Lester was the star of MTV's reality series "Downtown Girls" and wrote the dating memoir, Exes and Ohs: A Downtown Girl's (Mostly Awkward) Tales of Love, Lust, Revenge and a Little Facebook Stalking.
Available at Amazon.com
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