About Andy Rooney
Andy Rooney, the legendary "60 Minutes" commentator, offers wry observations on everything from big business and politics to the frustrations of everyday life.
"The most felicitous non-fiction writer in television" is how Time magazine once described Andy Rooney, the CBS News correspondent, writer and producer, who has won the Writers Guild Award for Best Script of the Year six times, more than any other writer in the history of the medium.
Rooney wrote the first of what has become his specialty, the television essay in a personal format illuminating subjects most people take for granted in with "An Essay on Doors" in 1964.
The '60 Minutes' curmudgeon commentator who delivered his two minutes of comments every week at the end of the news program from 1978 to 2001, died on November 4, 2011 in a New York City hospital at the age of 92
The Best of Andy Rooney - Andy Rooney Classics
Humor, Commentary & Opinion by Andy Rooney
There's nothing more stimulating to the brain than getting mad. I'm easily angered and there are so many things in the world to get mad about that my brain is seldom at ease. Nothing so regularly angers me as much as stories about lottery winners
The experts who know about this sort of thing have been predicting terrible consequences for the Earth and all of us on it unless we do something to stop the warming of our planet
There are a hundred places in the world that need the help U.S. power and money can provide. But we have to ask, how much can we do and how much do we have the will to do? How effective would diplomacy be?
One regular ticket for the Super Bowl costs about $600. If someone offers you a ticket for $10, don't buy it if you want to see the game. In the stadium, the game is an afterthought. It's treated as though it was an intrusion on the mindless noise flowing endlessly from the stadium speakers
A trip to the supermarket is one of the pleasures of my Saturdays. It's satisfying to have worked all week to make enough money to be able to spend some of it on Saturday for things you see in a store
Some things -- and people -- age well. Some things -- and people -- just get old
There are all kinds of sounds in nature that are better than noise. Some sounds are good or bad depending on where you are and what you're doing when you hear them
It's good fun to criticize our politicians and we all do a lot of that. It's hard not to, but I often feel sorry for them
More as a matter of habit than plan, we divide our days, weeks and years into parts that don't make sense. It has always seemed wrong to me that we sleep for seven or eight hours out of every 24, but apparently the body needs it
When the music and the news on radio begin to get repetitive and I want some friendly noise in my workshop, I turn on a shortwave scanner that picks up police, fire and aircraft frequencies
Joy Cartier from Honolulu has written me a good, sensible letter suggesting I write something about kissing. Joy seems to feel that kissing has gotten out of hand
Some days, it seems as though I have so much to do I can't get anything done. It happens a lot around Christmas
Bells are ringing like mad and shoppers are flooding the stores, so I guess it's not too early anymore to talk about Christmas. Following are a few things you may not have known about Christmas, and several things you know but may like to be reminded of
We all look for that perfect day when we have enough to do but not too much. There's a fine line and we usually cross it. At this time of year, most of us have so much to do that there isn't time to sit back and enjoy our holiday
It seems like there are more antique dealers than plumbers, and the supply of dealers far exceeds the dwindling number of antiques left for them to sell
While I'm thinking about it, this might be a good time to make some Christmas resolutions for future years. Here's my list
Nothing divides one generation from another so definitely as its popular music. Those who grew up listening to the Beatles are either not interested in, or actively dislike, the sound of rap, hip-hop or heavy metal
Candidates are as trapped with who they are as the rest of us. They have only their own personalities, their own intelligence or lack of it, their own virtues and their own defects
As we accumulate friends over the years and relatives proliferate, there become more special occasions in our lives than we can handle -- or even remember
Wives do a thousand little things for their husbands that they don't get credit for. Right here, I want to give credit where credit is due
There's so much competition for our attention that everyone is using up all our good superlatives to get it
Are you tired of being overweight? Does it make you mad at yourself because you're unable to control the amount of food you eat? If that's true, this is for you
I came across a column by Dick Burdette entitled, 'These are a few of my favorite things.' I don't want to steal his column or lose my image as a complainer so I'll go in the opposite direction
It's that time again, so I've collected a few facts about presidential inaugurations. Maybe you can surprise your friends with them
I don't know of any work I hate more than dismantling the Christmas tree. But I know my reluctance to untrim the tree is part sloth and part sentiment. It seems so sad that Christmas is over
Thanksgiving is uniquely American holiday, but it could use a little focus. We ought to do things that would remind us of the virtues we admire in the Pilgrim Fathers, not to mention, of course, the Pilgrim Mothers
I'm thinking how badly we need someone with absolute power in charge of controlling the buildings people erect. I'd not only want to control new construction; I'd also want the power to tear down some of the buildings already up
I feel about the French the way we all feel about difficult members of our family: They are infuriating but we love them anyway. Following are some notes I made -- mostly about French food
When I go into someone else's house, I'm always pleased that the owners don't know what I'm thinking. I come in the door, say hello and right away I start making changes
Except that you have more years ahead of you, youth isn't necessarily a better time of life than any other. School was harder than work ever has been
All the politicians and newspeople are already yakking endlessly about who will win the next presidential election. They never give us a break
It's too sad to talk about, but I'm going to talk to you about it. If I'd had a gun, the humane thing to do would have been to shoot it. I didn't have a gun, so I turned it over to a stranger
We don't really have one anymore. The days of going next door to borrow a cup of sugar are gone
Things don't come, we all know that
I HAD a birthday yesterday. There was nothing even vaguely celebratory about any part of the day. I hated it from beginning to end. The only thing worse would have been not having another birthday
Whistlers are a little crazy. They're nice and I like them, but they're slightly batty. They don't have both oars in the water. They live in a world of their own
Maybe we're being unreasonable when we expect our congressmen to be honest. We're asking too much. What do we expect of ordinary mortals, anyway, perfection?
How many professional people do you know, in any field, who compliment the work done by anyone else?
Considering how highly we prize an education, it's strange that we take so much satisfaction in our ignorance. We're always proudly proclaiming that we know nothing about something
The directions that come with any new appliance or tool must all be written in one place in some remote foreign country because they all sound the same
There's still a lot of work to be done on the design of all the things we use in our everyday lives
It's fun to know more about the English language than is necessary to speak or write it. Eponyms, for example, are an interesting linguistic aberration
A lot of people who know how to drive don't seem to know how to park
There's a conspiracy against silence in the world. We seem to prefer a shout to a whisper
While we're thinking about it, this might be a good time to make some Christmas resolutions for the coming years. Here are some proposals
Most days, both old and new, are good. I like remembering familiar and pleasant old things, but it doesn't pay to spend much time thinking about them. You can probably guess what's coming. I'm going to talk about 'the good old days.'
These suggestions for Thanksgiving dinner are late, so put them in the freezer and save them for Christmas
This is my first column. What follows are some clues to my character. --I prefer sitting, but when I stand, I stand in size 8-1/2 EEE shoes. --When it comes to politics, I don't know whether I'm a Democrat or a Republican
I love the idea of saving anything, but all the things I enjoy saving are as hard to know where to put as money. At the moment, I'm sitting in a workroom in the basement of my house. It's separated by a door from my shop, where my tools are
Columnists make a living pointing out things that are wrong with America. There isn't much money in talking about the all the good things because it's dull. What are some of the things that are right with America? Let me count the ways
Wastebaskets play an increasingly important part in our lives as the proliferation of paper threatens to bury us before we can throw it out, but a wastebasket is a strictly utilitarian object
The headline caught my eye as I sat in my Orlando hotel room, futilely struggling to open the complimentary coffee packet: 'HOTEL STAFF 'READS' GUESTS' NEEDS'
Dr. Jack Kevorkian died June 3 at a hospital in Michigan after suffering from kidney failure and pulmonary problems. He was 83. Kevorkian helped more than 130 people to die who were terminally ill and in pain. And as you may know, physician-assisted suicide is illegal in Michigan
No number of articles detailing the kind or amount of food I should eat to lose weight will ever convince me that I'm not a person who's just naturally overweight
A lot of things happen in the movies that never happen to me
There's something annoying about public opinion polls. The other thing that makes public opinion polls unreliable is the suggestion on the part of the organization taking the poll that we are all predictable
The following things are true, or so I believe
Columnists make a living pointing out things that are wrong with America. What are some of the things that are right with America? Let me count the ways
I'm only talking to overweight people today. The rest of you can move on to something else in the paper
The best colleges are faced with a dilemma every year: They need a lot of freshmen to pay for their buildings and teachers, but they have to keep the place hard to get into if they want good students
Considering how much we profess to admire education, it's funny how often we take pride in our ignorance
There's so much competition for our attention that everyone is using up all our good superlatives to get it
In light of everything terrifying happening in the world -- suicide bombers, Solyndra, drum circles, debates, etc. -- suddenly the idea of voluntarily viewing an old-school horror movie doesn't seem so daunting
The other day, one of those newspaper columns that gives advice gave some suggestions on how to stay within a budget when we're shopping. The suggestions were to shop alone, stick to a list and don't shop for food when we're hungry. The only part I accept is the advice to shop alone
There are too many events, too many movies and too much television. There are too many books to read. The newspaper keeps coming. There's no time to sit down and stare out the window without feeling you ought to be doing something
The grammar police are a large, unaffiliated group of readers, usually women, often retired schoolteachers, who pour over the newspaper every day searching for dumb mistakes -- like writers who say 'pour' when they mean 'pore'
Maybe signed work is the answer to getting better workmanship again. Everything that anyone makes should have his or her name on it for praise or blame and for reference
If I could have three wishes, I'd use one to wish for a valet. My standards of dress have deteriorated and I ought to do something before I become a real slob
Old friends may be the best friends, but new friends you don't know very well are good, too. New friends, by which I mean friends with whom you have no serious relationship, make life pleasant
My car and my body are in about the same shape. I don't know which is harder -- taking my body to the doctor or my car to the garage. It's surprising how many similarities suggest themselves in the treatment of our cars and our bodies
Summer dies hard. We try to keep it alive for just a little longer. We keep doing a few of the things we did on vacation, just as though it wasn't really over.
No matter what you call it, it's dull work. I've been home a lot lately and inevitably have been pressed into some housework. The following things are true about housework
Twenty-five years ago, I flew to Palm Springs with Walter Cronkite and Don Hewitt, the producer, to write an hour special about Frank Sinatra on the occasion of his 50th birthday. I got thinking about the experience on his 75th
Everything's crowding in on me. Please step back and give the man some air.
I am undertaking the job of cataloging some of life's unpleasant little tasks in an effort to bring us all together. The following are hard jobs
I want to tell you about something I do exceedingly well. If there were some way of ranking the people who do it in order of their proficiency at it, I believe I'd be near the top of the list
It would be easier to fix things if something else didn't always break while you were fixing the first thing
The tops of jars and bottles are too hard to take off. Stuff that comes packaged in plastic is too hard to open. How come companies are selling us stuff we can't get at?
There's a theory in the news business that there are only so many stories. Here are 50 you can depend on reading
We may have gone far enough with bigger. The time may be at hand to start thinking small
Sometimes it's hard to decide what to think and write about. For instance, I might be able to make something out of the difference between the words 'some time' and 'sometime' and even 'sometimes'
I sometimes think vacations are harder to take than going to work. When you go to work, you know what you have to do, but you go on vacation to have fun and take a break from your everyday life. Good times are more apt to come unexpectedly rather than by design
Just for fun, I made a list of places I don't want to go to
The automobile industry always makes changes in its new models, but it isn't until 10 years later that you realize cars have gradually become different.
Everything's crowding in on me. Please step back and give the man some air. It isn't just too many people; it's too many things to do, too many possessions, too much equipment designed to make life easier, too many wires leading to too many electric appliances, too many relationships to maintain
Considering how much we profess to admire education, it's funny how often we take pride in our ignorance
Even though I know a lot of people die the day after their doctor says they're in good health, I'm always encouraged when my doctor says I'm doing fine. He lies a little to me but I like that in a doctor.
Every once in a while, a newspaper or another publication of some kind will ask me for a picture of myself. I can never find one I want to send them. Why don't pictures of us ever look the way we think of ourselves as looking?
These are the days when I enjoy my summer vacation the most. My month off doesn't begin until July but looking forward to it is the best part. Already I'm trying to figure out a way I can sneak off early
This morning, I was trying to think of something to write about and I started looking at all the tools I have on top of my desk or in the drawers. Since all I do for a living is write, how in the world did I get tied up with so many tools?
The other day, I started making a list of famous people I knew during World War II. I was prompted to do this because of the 67th anniversary of D-Day. During the war, as a reporter for the Army newspaper, The Stars and Stripes, I often had occasion to interview Gen. Dwight Eisenhower. He was the first and one of the best famous people I ever knew
On the day I write a column each week, my mind flits around looking for an idea that interests me and one I hope will interest you. I like football, the study of philosophy and anything about food. The subject of religion is of great interest to me, although I'm not religious.
I'd like to tell everyone reading my column today that you have about 530 days until the presidential election of 2012. So please make sure you use the time carefully. And, if you're thinking of running for the presidency, you must file a statement of candidacy with the Federal Election Commission using Form 2
While I don't have an exact number, I estimate from sort of counting them in the telephone book that there are about 24,000 restaurants in New York City. I've eaten in several hundred of them, and the good ones outnumber the fair or poor ones. The best restaurants go on and on and get better year after year; the bad ones don't last a year
There have only been a few times in my life when someone's death has been an occasion for rejoicing. The day Adolf Hitler died was a good day for the world, and a good day for me. The day Osama bin Laden died was another good day for the world. For someone my age, there are marked similarities between the deaths of Hitler and Bin Laden
There are stories in the newspaper every day that interest me and stories that don't. I'm not proud of myself for this; it's just true. The world was informed of the death of Osama bin Laden. I've read about Bin Laden often enough that I can now remember how to spell his name, and because of the monumental nature of this story I can barely get to the other stories in the papers
It isn't anything I want to think a lot about, but for some reason I woke up in the middle of last night and got wondering why men wear pants and women wear skirts. I guess I was thinking about clothing because of all the talk this week about what Kate was wearing when she married Prince William
Food doesn't exactly rule our lives, but we spend an awful lot of time thinking about it, buying it, preparing it, eating it, and dreaming about it. Some food cravings have followed me all my life
Every once in a while, it amuses me to check into the number of newspapers that run this column. The last time I looked, there were about 110 of them, and I like that a lot, but I'd be kidding myself if I thought everyone who reads those papers reads the column. It would be in the millions, and that would make me nervous
If you've been reading my columns for the last 30 years, you know I earn my living by complaining and commenting on things that bother me. These days, there are quite a few situations that annoy me. Here's just a sampling
I went to the cafeteria in my office building today to buy lunch. They don"t really call it a cafeteria, but "The Station Break Cafe." Clever, right? I call it a cafeteria and always will. Since I sometimes try to watch my weight, I thought I"d better have a salad because I"ve had two bowls of ice cream this week
This morning, I was looking through the magazines in my office hoping to find an idea for something to say on '60 Minutes' next week. Sometimes I get an idea from the publications and sometimes I don't.
I thought I would write about Japan today because, like most people in the world, my heart goes out to all its citizens. The world hopes that the devastation caused by the earthquake and tsunami will subside.
If the major airlines don't stop nickel-and-diming the public with all sorts of new fees and fare increases potential passengers may consider using other modes of transportation. Air travel has become quite an unpleasant experience for a number of reasons
I'm looking for the headlines I find interesting, as well as those that don't interest me. I'm always interested in any headlines about the television business. The headlines that don't interest me are usually those in the business section. They always seem confusing to me. For the last few days, I've been collecting examples of headlines I don't understand or that seem confusing. Here's part of my list
Last night, I couldn't get to sleep, and looking for something easy to think about while I was lying there, I got thinking about food. I enjoy thinking about food because I enjoy eating.
We often eat dinner at restaurants in New York, and while there are several we go to repeatedly, we tend to go to a lot of different places. As in most big cities around the country, there are always new restaurants opening up -- more than I could ever try.
Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York City has asked state legislators to repeal a law mandating that the last teachers hired are the first to be fired. Bloomberg insists that hiring and firing should be based on performance, not longevity. Is there anyone but a bad teacher who would disagree?
When I got home from work last night, I thought to myself that I should think of something to write about for my column this week. I decided to make a list of all the things I have to do in my house this weekend. Because it's been snowing, raining or hailing for the last six weeks, I have either postponed or delayed doing most of the things on my to do list
Winter began about a month ago, and I'm starting to think of traveling somewhere warm to escape the cold for a while. Of course, if I went someplace tropical, I'd probably be too hot
Nothing reduces the whole world to the same level like snow. We're getting heavy snow in the Northeast these days and I love it. The day I'm writing this column it's snowing heavily outside. I don't know why, but we call both a lot of rain and a lot of snow 'heavy,' even though snow is sometimes fluffy and doesn't seem heavy, like rain
The automobile industry in this country seems to be getting back on its feet. In my driving lifetime -- between age 18 and the present -- I've owned a Hupmobile, a Durant, three Chryslers, two Packards, three Fords, six Jeeps, a Lexus, a Saab, a BMW and countless other cars that I can't name because I don't remember
The best thing I've read in several years is a story that in the near future we're going to be able to get lots of power from wind turbines planted offshore instead of burning coal and oil. I hope this technology becomes more popular because we're in desperate need of cheap power, and neither coal nor oil is cheap
Christmas has passed and I assume we're all ready to stop goofing off and get back down to work. I was so busy over Christmas that I never did get at making any resolutions for the New Year, but they're ready now. I hereby resolve
The holidays are over, so it's time for all of us to concentrate on work, now! New Year's Eve was great, and Christmas is always a lot of fun in the Rooney household.
What are the best Christmas presents you ever got? I was trying to recall my favorites. My parents gave me a Buddy-L truck that was strong enough for me to sit on when I was 5 or 6, and I can still remember everything about that truck. That was certainly one of my best presents ever
The inventions of mankind are amazing. There's no reason to be modest about what we've accomplished, especially in the field of transportation.
For most of my adult life I've made my living writing the English language. It's the one of the biggest and most diverse languages in the world, and I love it. I think it's the best language, but what do I know?
Not many of us would admit it, but our preferences save us a great deal of time in our lives. We already know what we think about almost everything and we don't have to think it through again every time the subject comes up
If it came from a gift shop, please don't give it to me. There's a whole category of things that I don't want for Christmas and most of them come from gift shops
I earn a lot more money now but it isn't as satisfying. I've never gotten over feeling rich if I have money in my pocket, but I don't carry what I did before I had much. Most of the money I used to carry was change, and it was heavier than bills. I think a single penny weighs more than a $100 bill
There are something like 335,000 Christian churches in the United States, but I don't think many of these houses of worship are more than one quarter full on the days there are services. On Sundays, I think many of the parishioners would like to get home in time for the start of the football game
If you stop and think of all the things we've invented, you have to be pretty impressed with the human race. I'm not thinking now of the big things like airplanes or cars, for example, but even unimportant things -- sports like football, basketball and baseball
There are names of people and places that everyone is familiar with, and most of them have something special about them. It's unfair, I suppose, but the name sometimes affects our attitude toward a place or a person
Bragging is boring and rude, I know that, but I can't keep myself from saying that there's one thing I do better than almost anyone. I make a mess of things
When I sit down to write a column, I often look through the newspaper, hoping to find an idea. It's tough sledding sometimes. I'm always amazed by how little I know about the world. I'm not proud to write this, but at least I'm honest. There's a lot to read about in the world and not enough time in the day for me to do that.
I'm looking through the copies of this week's New York Times piled in my office and checking off which stories I read and which I didn't. The 'didn'ts' outnumber the 'dids' three to one. If I read The Times from cover to cover, it would be afternoon by the time I was done. With time out for the day's activities, tomorrow's paper would have come before I finished today's
There are names of people and places that everyone is familiar with, and most of them have something special about them. We don't confuse them with anyone else. Their names are distinctive.
It seems as though the rooms we live in are getting smaller, with fewer places to store things, and the things we have to store are getting bigger and more numerous
I've read a lot of newspaper articles recently about inflation and deflation in this country and around the world. Then, for some reason, I woke up in the middle of the night and started thinking about how much things cost and all the numbers in my life that were so meaningful at one time
I save things. I have clothes I haven't worn in years that are too good to throw away. I'm a woodworker and I have good wood boards out of which to make things that I never make anything out of. I just like to look at the wood. Since the 1930s, I've collected typewriters. I must have at least 20 typewriters in my office and in my home
When I sit down at my computer with a blank page on the screen, I often feel like going back to bed. Sometimes nothing comes to mind to write about. If you're a ditch-digger, you dig ditches whether you feel like it or not, and if you're a columnist you write a column whether you feel like it or not
It doesn't make much sense but we've named a lot of the most important buildings around the world after their shape or appearance. Calling something 'white' doesn't mean much, but add the word 'house' and you've got what may be the most important building in the world: the White House.
The train ride from New York to Albany took three hours 50 years ago. Yesterday, with the miracles of computerized signal systems, a combination diesel-electric locomotive and millions of dollars worth of track improvements, it took me three hours and 28 minutes on an Amtrak train.
I started worrying about how much I had to do and how little of it I got done the previous day. It was at this moment that I had the thought that may change my life. I realized successful people are not any better than I am at doing things; they're better at not doing things I waste time doing.
Several years ago, I had a frank talk with my doctor. He's 10 years younger than I am, and I told him that there were things I expected of him, and one of those things was that I expected him to outlive me. I had no interest in breaking in new medical help
I've had true love and a change of weather, but I've yearned for many more things over the years. Some I've had, some I haven't. Desire can drive you crazy and, more often than not, it makes no sense. The trick to happiness is adjusting your desire to the realities of your life, and that's hard. If you can't have what you want, it makes sense to want less
The following is a list of things I think are true
When they're on vacation, columnists look for easy columns to write: Here are a few random thoughts and observations
There are two stories in the paper that make me mad. The first says American billionaires ought to donate half of everything they make to charity. Frankly, the capitalist system we have works best for the most people. The second story I don't agree with says the tax on a pack of cigarettes is going up $1.60.
I wear my wristwatch with the face on the under side of my wrist because I like it that way. I find it easier to see and I'm used to it. A friend gave me the watch about 20 years ago. It still keeps perfect time and I have no intention of getting a new one. Wearing my watch under my wrist may be an affectation but it's my affectation and I like it.
"The tools of the trade" is a common phrase, and I've been looking around my office at the tools I use in my trade, writing.
Some people are good at throwing things away, but I save things. Saving things doesn't make sense because you hardly ever use what you save, but I can't help myself. I keep everything.
There's a story in the newspaper that says a lot of people in Athens, Greece, are retiring when they're 50 years old, contributing to a massive debt crisis. The Greek government has determined that if you have a certain job which could have deleterious effects on your health, you have the right to retire at 50 with your full pension.
My newspaper this morning has a headline that reads: INVESTORS GET JITTERY ON A GLOBAL SCALE. Really? I'm an investor. Small time, I suppose, but I'm not jittery. To tell you the truth, I read the sports pages and the Page One news each morning before I read what happened to my stocks and bonds and the news on Wall Street
No one is honest with us about time. For an example, when an airline tells you how long a flight will be they should be made to count the minutes and hours from the time they say you have to be at the airport, to the time the plane lands and you go into the terminal.
President Obama named Elena Kagan the new Supreme Court nominee. It's taken a long time, but the reluctance to appointing women to high government offices seems to be a thing of the past. It's my opinion -- which I reveal reluctantly -- that there are things men do better than women and things women do better than men. However, I don't think there's any difference when it comes to judges
If you have your health, some happiness, a job, a place to live and some money in the bank, you don't need help. At least twice a week, I feel guilty as I drop some letter asking for a contribution into the little wicker wastebasket next to my chair.
The warmer weather we have now is more bearable than it used to be because of the things we've invented. Our houses have been heated one way or another for centuries, but air conditioning is a relatively recent invention. I don't know why it's not called "cooling" instead of "conditioning," but there may never have been an invention better than air conditioning.
It's kind of nice that most Americans who live in a city are proud of it. They like their city and they want the rest of the world to like it, too. New York is the only exception.
I hope you won't think I'm being falsely modest when I tell you that I think I have average intelligence. Sometimes when I read the newspaper, I worry about myself -- specifically about my brain. If I have average intelligence, why is there so much in the paper every day that confuses me? I looked at some stories in the newspaper to make my point.
- Some Sound Ideas
- The Great B-17: A World War II Memory
- It's All Rice and Potatoes to Me ...
- Three Seasons...Not Four!
- View on the News
- My Super Super Bowl Weekend
- My Friend Bill Mauldin
- Which Political Party Do You Belong To
- Strange Case for the Weather
- So, It's 2010!
- Christmas and Money
- Shopping is for Presents And the Birds
- Thoughts on Chocolate and Cars
- What Do You Do With Your Money
- What Are Your Preferences
- One Man's Trash / Treasure ...
- Wouldn't You Like to Be a Politician?
- How Does Your State Rank
- The Newspaper Business Then and Now
- How Does Your Brain Work
- Water: The Drink of Choice
- My Good Friend Walter Cronkite
- Could You Name This Place or Person?
- I Love Reading the Newspapers
- What's To Drink?
- What's In The Mail Today
- Don Hewitt, A Friend to the End
- Our Homes Away From Home
- A Writer on Writing and Words
- A Smile by Any Other Name is Still A Smile
- Play First, Read Instructions Later
- Where Does the Time Go?
- Born to Lose
- Summer Vacation: It's That Time of Year, Again
- What's in the Headlines
- Summer is On Its Way
- National Debt: Too Many Zeroes to Count
- Looking at My Calendar
- Andy's Upside Down Diet
- The Vehicle I Never Forgot
- The Great E.B. White
- Say No to Tobacco & Other Vices
- Well-Known to Me
- The World's Woes
- I Would Rather Stay Home & Not Travel
- My Wish List
- I'm Hedging Today
Andy Rooney Classics - The Best of Andy Rooney
Humor & Funny Stories - The Best of Andy Rooney - Andy Rooney Classics
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