The Best of Andy Rooney
There are a lot of things I like to do and a lot of good times of the year. For me, though, the day they play the Super Bowl is best. It's ridiculous to let a game get that big in your life, but I've let it happen.
The Super Bowl was last Sunday, and if you care, you know who won. I was there and I loved everything about it, even though it wasn't a great game. It wasn't a bad game, either, of course. There are really no bad Super Bowl games. It's best if your team plays a team from another city because hating one of the teams makes the game better to watch.
The game is only part of going to the Super Bowl, of course. You go to a lot of parties and other events, too. Just to give you some idea of how wild things get, I met my boss's boss at one of the parties and was so tied up with everything going on that I couldn't remember his name. I didn't notice whether he remembered mine or not. If he fires me, I'll know why.
It's funny about money at the Super Bowl. Everything's either free or it costs too much. There's no middle ground. I ate three expensive meals and got half a dozen free meals during the time I was in Florida. In every case, the free meals were better. At the game itself, one slice of pizza cost $7.75 and was poor.
The game started at a ridiculous time: 6:28 p.m. They call it kickoff. That's not a good starting time for anything but dinner. A lot of things about the game were ridiculous. I was halfway into a long row. My seat was good for viewing the game but bad for getting out to buy something to eat or going to the men's room, so I did neither. I suppose the time of the game had something to do with money -- everything about it does.
The stranger on my left went out at the half and brought back a bottle of root beer for me. I hadn't had root beer in 12 years and it tasted great, so he was instantly among my best friends in the world. It was the nicest thing that happened to me all weekend and I didn't get his name.
A hotel room is a great place to go after you've been to a crowded football game. You can finally relax by yourself. On the television in my room, they were still talking about the game. It was good feeling superior to the three announcers.
The men -- they're almost always men -- who do the play-by-play for the game have an unenviable job. We all see what happened and all they can do is tell us what we just saw. I always want the announcers to tell me something I don't know. Someday, one of the networks is going to broadcast a game without commentary. I can't wait.
After the Super Bowl, I always get on a bus that takes me back to my hotel, and the talk on the bus among the fans is one of the best parts of the day. They've often seen things I didn't see and make observations that never occurred to me. Always, some of them hated the game, but you know they'll be back next year. The players should take the bus if they really want to know what fans thought of the game.
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Humor & Funny Stories - My Super Super Bowl Weekend | Andy Rooney
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