The Best of Andy Rooney
There are maybe 25,000 to 30,000 words in the average daily
I'm looking through the copies of this week's
Here are the headlines on some of the stories I was interested in:
"OBAMA'S CHIEF FOR ECONOMICS IS SET TO LEAVE"
Well, it's too bad I guess, but I didn't know much about the President's "chief for economics," why he needed one, or what the guy did. I'm also unmoved by the fact that he's leaving and going back to Massachusetts. I didn't read much of the story past the headline.
"LOOKING FOR SOMETHING WHEN LIFE SIGNIFIES NOTHING"
This must be an important story. Maybe I'll read it some day when I'm looking for something.
"CANTORS TRY TO HEAL RIFT THROUGH SONG"
Other than remembering Eddie Cantor when I was young, I don't know much about cantors. They're good people and I'm glad they're trying to heal a rift.
"LIQUID NITROGEN AND THE THIRTY-HOUR CHEESEBURGER"
I like cheeseburgers and have no intention of spoiling what I think of them by reading a story that links them to liquid nitrogen. They don't taste like liquid nitrogen. I wonder what liquid nitrogen tastes like.
"STATEHOUSE GAINS COULD GIVE GOP EDGE ON REDISTRICTING"
I'll have to look up the origin of the nickname
"POLITICAL TIES SHIELD BANK IN AFGHANISTAN"
I'm sure this is an important story, but I'm not interested in political ties or banks. Afghanistan, I'm interested in.
"NEW CALL FOR BOYCOTT OF ELECTIONS IN EGYPT"
If everyone in Egypt boycotts their election, will things be better there? I don't think so. I wish I was more interested in Egypt's politics, but I'm not.
"FRENCH STRIKE ADDS TO SARKOZY'S TROUBLES"
Everything that ever happens in France adds to their troubles. I don't know why France always seems to be dealing with some sort of strike. The one thing going for the French is that they cook better than anyone else in the world. Their politics may be all screwed up in France, but when the French go home at night, everyone has a good dinner and a bottle of wine. So it's not all bad.
I don't think Americans know it, but we're not as well-informed about what's going on in the rest of the world as we once were. I know I haven't enlightened you with my insights.
- There's No Joy in Junking Your Christmas Tree
- Food for Holiday Thoughts
- Warning: Antiques are Addictive
- Make Christmas More Like Christmas
- Christmas: Fugeddaboutit!
- Hard Choices in Store
- Try Some of Andy's Christmas Tidbits
- A Homemade Thanksgiving
- The Junk Building Boom
- Vive La French Food
- Is It Music or Noise?
- Presidential Debates Reveal More About the Candidates and Less
- Forget the Birthday Greetings
- Sort Well-Aged from Old
- Silence is a Wonderful Sound
- Politicians Have It Hard
- Time on My Mind
- Police Report
- We're Doing Too Much Kissing
- Home is Always The Best Place to Be
- The Glories of Maturity
- The White House? No Thank You
- An Appreciative Husband's Gratitude
Humor & Funny Stories - What's News to You is News to Me | Andy Rooney
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