So, It's 2010!

Andy Rooney


I don't know whether it's me or life, but the year 2010 is here and I was thinking how little I care. One year has gotten to feel just like the last one. It seems like a nice even round number and it's easy to remember but otherwise there's nothing special about 2010 for me. Those of us who don't like New Year's Eve and the necessity to have a good time are looking forward to New Year's Day because New Year's Eve will be over and 2010 will have started.

We've made a big mistake making January 1 New Year's Day.

It doesn't feel like anywhere near the first of the year for me. I'd like to make September 1 New Year's Day, no matter what anyone else thinks. On September l, summer is almost over, vacations are usually over and many of us go back to our tiresome jobs. If the kids didn't go back to school by early September, everyone, including their teachers, would notice.

For years I've been fighting a losing battle to change New Year's Day, but no one will listen. (I don't know what that apostrophe is for in "year's" but everyone puts it in.) Am I the only one who thinks this isn't a ridiculous idea? If we did change the date on which the new year starts, August 31 would be the most logical day to celebrate "New Year's Eve." We wouldn't be faced with all this cold, snowy unpleasantness of having a new year that falls in the winter.

I always go to a party with old friends New Year's Eve, but I don't even like parties on New Year's Eve anymore. Like eating creampuffs, there are just so many New Year's eves a person can take, and I've had mine. I'd like to just sit home on New Year's Eve and feel miserable about all the things I didn't get done in the past year. I'd also think about all the hard jobs I have ahead of me in 2010 because I didn't get them done in 2009.

Every year, I jot down some resolutions. I have some for 2010:

1) I'm not going to stop eating coffee ice cream four times a week.

2) I'm not going to talk back to the television set during the news, critiquing the reporters.

3) I've resolved not to make any more resolutions I won't keep; I've already done that.

4) I'm not going to smoke cigarettes next year. This is easy because I've never smoked cigarettes and have no intention of starting.

5) I'm going to be nicer to everyone, starting with myself.

6) I'm not going to exercise again next year. I joined the YMCA years ago but I don't go there and exercise; I just belong.

7) For the first time, I think I'll resolve not to try to get ahead with my "60 Minutes" segments. I never have and I see no reason to change now.

8) I'm not going to try to keep from being cynical if I feel cynical about something. Being cynical is good for a person.

So, Happy New Year to all. If you drink this New Year's Eve, don't drive, and if you drive and drink, don't do it near me or anyone else.

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