The Best of Andy Rooney
Some people are good at throwing things away, but I save things.
Saving things doesn't make sense because you hardly ever use what you save, but I can't help myself. I keep everything. There are shirts and ties in my closet that I haven't worn in 10 years but they're too good to throw away. I have several suits that I never wear but I think I may wear them again some day. Maybe not tomorrow but someday, I'll try them and if they fit, I might wear them again. I have clothes I bought in a store that's been out of business for 12 years, and never worn. I've never thrown away a suit yet and I certainly would never discard a necktie.
My cellar is big, but full. Our cars stay in the driveway. I should buy a new house with an empty garage, an empty attic and lots of empty closets. There are all sorts of items everywhere too good to throw away that I haven't used in decades and may never use again, but I'll never throw them away.
In my basement workroom, where I write when I'm home, my file cabinets are full. There's nothing worth much in them, but there's no room for anything else, either.
I also have at least 8 or 10 wallets people have given me over the years. I don't use them but I don't discard them, either. People know I don't carry a wallet but they give them to me anyway.
What I do carry is a small, green leather holder the size of a credit card that holds five cards and nothing else. I keep some cash in my pockets, so it's there when I need it. In New York City, you don't need a lot of small change because paying the fare with a $20 bill doesn't bother a cab driver. I sometimes take buses or the subway long distances, but I take cabs for short rides.
I often think of the money I've spent on things and I wish I had what I've spent over the years on taxicab rides. I'm sure I could buy a cab with it.
There are unwritten rules about tipping people for various services, and nowhere is tipping more universal than in taxis in New York. It would be interesting to hear from a cab driver about who tips and how much, and who doesn't tip at all. I usually give the driver $1 when the meter reads over $5. Maybe it isn't enough because the cabbies don't always thank me.
Grocery stores must have to be careful when they price things.
I waste a lot of money when I'm in a grocery store. It's unfair, but I look at the price of everything and compare it with the price of the same thing I saw in another store. I end up saving 34 cents in one store and overpaying somewhere else.
There are things that always seem expensive to me. Recently, I found a movie ticket stub in my jacket from 10 years ago. The theater charged $6. We've gone to the movies a few times in the last six months and I can't get over how expensive the tickets are now. You'd think television would have driven down the cost of a movie but this hasn't happened. I read where some theaters in New York are charging $19.50 to get in to see a 3-D movie. I clearly remember when I was a kid, the
So, there are some good reasons for not throwing stuff away. Occasionally it's good to be reminded how much cheaper prices were years ago.
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Humor & Funny Stories - Some Thoughts on Saving and Spending | Andy Rooney
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