Humor by Greg Schwem
There is apparently a new cabinet position at the
Of course, I'm talking about the Secretary of Twitter.
Does anyone seriously believe President Obama himself has time to tweet? His recent lunch with Mitt Romney was so quick, the menu most likely consisted of microwavable burritos, Minute Rice and instant coffee. And yet, tweets from @BarackObama are coming fast and furious, many with an oh-so-clever #My2k hashtag.
It's all part of a PR campaign, no doubt concocted in a small West Wing office by a 20-something with an iPhone, urging
They ranged from supportive: "#My2k Two mortgage payments . . . or seven car payments . . . or ten months of gas to get to work . . . or a year of student loan payments"
To angry: "#My2k is crap. Obama SIGNED the Budget Control Act of 2011 which is the Fiscal Cliff"
To materialistic: "#My2k means buying one direction and Justin Bieber tickets. And a flight to see my grandma in N.Y."
It makes sense that our most social media-savvy president, whom many feel won a second term only because of his ability to harness the powers of
Assembling an army for the Revolutionary War would have been so much easier had President George Washington, a general at the time, stirred the pot via Twitter: "Tired of repression and tyranny? Use hashtag #KingGeorgeisadoofus."
President Lincoln could have avoided the hassles of traveling to Gettysburg by opting for Twitter instead: "All men are created equal. #thiscouldbeagreatmovie"
President William Henry Harrison, who died from pneumonia just one month into his term, could have forewarned the country, via Twitter, that his reign would be short: "Just sneezed. Hope it's nothing serious. #coldandfluseason"
Harry Truman strikes me as a president who would have millions of Twitter followers simply because his tweets would evoke daily chuckles: "Election over. Heading home to Missouri. Congratulations to President Dewey . . . NOT! #deweydefeatstruman"
Then there's Richard Nixon, who may have well served two full terms if only he'd been able to tag every tweet #Iamnotacrook.
Then again, Nixon's detractors would have most likely launched their own Twitter campaign, urging everyone to tweet using hashtag #thetaperecorderdoesntlie
The only president I could see shunning Twitter while in office is Bill Clinton, simply because it would have been a poor substitute for his polished oratorical skills. Clinton had, and still has, the ability to make the American public believe ANYTHING -- even the Easter Bunny's existence -- simply by opening his mouth. Tweeting with hashtag #Ididnothavesexwiththatwoman just doesn't have the same effect as a live press conference.
It's too early to tell if Obama's Twitter campaign will be successful -- but if it is, look out. Expect lawyers to lobby
My 15-year-old daughter is currently trying to decide on a career. I'm going to suggest she explore the new and exciting world of Twitter PR.
Better yet, I'll just send her a tweet. Using hashtag #thinkIfoundyouajob.
Humorist Greg Schwem is a stand-up comedian and author of Text Me If You're Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad
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