Humor by Jen Lancaster
In the film "Stand by Me," the character Vern says, "If I could only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy. Pez. Cherry-flavor Pez. No question about it."
I love the conviction with which a prepubescent Jerry O'Connell delivers this line. Although I don't share his passion for cherry flavor Pez, I understand his singular devotion because I feel the same way. Only instead of eating, it's shopping, and my Pez of choice is
I'm convinced there are two kinds of people in this world -
Although I appreciate
So, last week when I heard of first lady Michelle Obama shopping incognito at an Alexandria, Va.,
Heck, when
But then I saw the photos of her cart contents and I was confused. Mrs. Obama wasn't loading up on adorable Missoni scarves and headbands and rubber Wellingtons or beach-scented Yankee Candles. She wasn't even buying poster board and glitter for the girls' Social Studies dioramas.
She was purchasing towels.
Why on earth was the first lady buying towels at
Also, Mrs. Obama purchased Lysol wipes. That made me sad. I don't want to live in a country where the first lady has to wipe the POTUS's toothpaste globs off the sinks. Plus, don't they have people for that? And if they don't, despite my own fiscal conservatism, I'm willing to fork out a couple of extra bucks to pay someone else to do it.
Of course, it's since come out that Charles Dharapak of the
So now I'm glad their newest designer collection sold out in minutes.
No Missoni ballet flats for you, first lady.
Humor & Satire
- A Smashing Time That Was Good for Some
- Boy, Do We Like to Watch
- Please Don't Feed the Twins
- Parenting: Don't Think. It Can Only Hurt the Team
- Regrets. People Should Have a Few
- What I'll Miss About Bachelorhood
- Get That Nut Away From My Child!
- For the Love of the English Language
- It's Time to Win One for the Zipper
- Does Whatever a Lousy Title Can
- I Prefer My Preferences
- What Do You Do With a Gift Shop Gift
- Life and Religion
- The Action Pile
- Why I Hate Myself for Going to Starbucks
- Kicking the Bucket List
- The War of the Sandwiches
- In Praise of the Common Cold
- Nobody Wants a Bummer Ending
- The Anti-Social Network
- I Have Been Known to Save Things
- I'm King of the Burger!
- My Kids Have Weird Names, Too
- Get Off My Lawn
- Money for Nothing
- 50 Ways to Beat the Heat
- Things Not to Do Today
- Desire is a Terrible Disease
- Home, Sweet, Wet Home
- Bed-Buggin' Out
- I Want to Like Soccer
- New Jersey is the New Black
- I'm Not Looking Forward to 40
- Charity is Never Easy
- Is There an App for That?
- Paying Taxes is a Blast!
Humor & Funny Stories - Target Shoppers of the World Unite | Humor - Jen Lancaster
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