Humor by Mark Bazer

What happened to regrets?

Nobody has them, or at least admits to them, anymore.

As someone who sets aside an hour before bedtime each night to regret much of what transpired earlier in the day, I find other people's contentment in all their decisions, well, regretful.

End-of-2010 news was full of notable, mistake-filled people looking back regret-less.

Take ...

Nancy Pelosi, who oversaw a Congress with an average 24 percent approval rating. "We have no regrets," she says. Hmm, not even that three-quarters of the country didn't like you?

Nicole Richie says, of her time on "The Simple Life," "I don't really look back with any regrets." She, I guess, leaves that to the rest of us.

Sports figures specialize in leading regret-free lives.

LeBron James: "I don't regret any decision that I've made."

Fired Cleveland Browns coach Eric Mangini: "There's not a sense of loss or regret."

And, of course, Brett Favre. "I have no regrets," he said during his final press conference. "I can't think of too many players who can say that."

I don't know, maybe all the players who can say they never were fined for sexting, sued by massage therapists, knew when to call it a career, didn't promote a brand of jeans that may not be actually made anymore ...

My favorite no-regretter, though, has to be Mike Bickle. He's the founder of the International House of Prayer, or IHOP. Speaking at the group's annual convention, he said. "If I stand before Him and have regret, it is the greatest tragedy a believer can have."

Surely, though, God would understand if he regretted giving his organization the same name as a pancake house.

Perhaps it's a question of semantics. Do people without regrets believe they made no mistakes -- or do they not regret their mistakes because of some regretful notion about the importance of learning from your mistakes?

If you had the choice of making a mistake and learning from it or not making the mistake in the first place, which would you choose? And what exactly do people expect to learn when they make a mistake? For me, it's that I'll probably make that mistake again in a week or so.

Maybe the no-regretters believe there is shame in admitting mistakes. That's why reality-TV stars may be our country's most open and honest people. With their public lives based on sharing self-made disasters, they're the most willing to openly have regrets.

Khloe Kardashian regrets losing her viginity at 14. Amber Portwood, the teen mom from "Teen Mom," reportedly regrets having her child's face tattooed on her stomach. And new "Jersey Shore" cast member Deena regrets calling Sammi the c-word!

On that note, we are, regretfully, out of room.

Humor & Satire

Humor & Funny Stories - Regrets. People Should Have a Few

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