Humor by Mark Bazer
The
It doesn't take a postmaster general to see why: More teenage hooligans are smashing mailboxes than ever before! Also, people are relying more and more on digital communications.
But all is not lost. Here are some suggestions for how the
-- Raise the price of stamps to $5.1 billion for one year. Get one extremely wealthy person in America to send just one letter.
-- Sell "The Definitive Map to the
-- Drive efficiency by giving all postal workers e-mail addresses instead of stubbornly making them use U.S. mail to coordinate meetings, exchange files, etc.
-- Cancel mail on Saturdays. Also remove "sleet" from that poem about conditions mail carriers will work in.
-- Don't let people get away with that writing DON'T BEND on envelopes crap. (Note: This won't save money but may boost morale.)
-- Somehow convince
-- Compete with airlines by letting people put themselves in boxes with holes on top and then mail themselves to their destination.
-- Cancel this year's
-- Set up a meeting with
-- Promise same-day delivery. Apologize later.
-- Replace rude woman behind counter at my local post office with rude robot.
-- Eliminate mail carriers. Drop off mail at one person's house on every block, let people pass mail down the street until everyone gets theirs.
-- Do a better job of getting the word out about Sweetest Day.
Humor & Satire
- A Smashing Time That Was Good for Some
- Boy, Do We Like to Watch
- Please Don't Feed the Twins
- Parenting: Don't Think. It Can Only Hurt the Team
- Regrets. People Should Have a Few
- What I'll Miss About Bachelorhood
- Get That Nut Away From My Child!
- For the Love of the English Language
- It's Time to Win One for the Zipper
- Does Whatever a Lousy Title Can
- I Prefer My Preferences
- What Do You Do With a Gift Shop Gift
- Life and Religion
- The Action Pile
- Why I Hate Myself for Going to Starbucks
- Kicking the Bucket List
- The War of the Sandwiches
- In Praise of the Common Cold
- Nobody Wants a Bummer Ending
- The Anti-Social Network
- I Have Been Known to Save Things
- I'm King of the Burger!
- My Kids Have Weird Names, Too
- Get Off My Lawn
- Money for Nothing
- 50 Ways to Beat the Heat
- Things Not to Do Today
- Desire is a Terrible Disease
- Home, Sweet, Wet Home
- Bed-Buggin' Out
- I Want to Like Soccer
- New Jersey is the New Black
- I'm Not Looking Forward to 40
- Charity is Never Easy
- Is There an App for That?
- Paying Taxes is a Blast!
Humor & Funny Stories - How to Save the U.S. Postal Service | Humor - Mark Bazer
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