We all have favorites. I know the people who are my favorites. I have foods I like, clothes I prefer to wear, places I like to go to, television shows I watch and politicians I vote for.

In every case, my preferences include the opposite -- people I hate, food I won't eat, television shows I skip and politicians I can't stand.

Many of my preferences are based on pure prejudice. I couldn't tell you why, but I've hated carrots for as long as I can remember. My mother didn't understand it and neither do I, but to this day, I won't eat a carrot. I like potatoes, squash, peas, beans and celery, but don't ask me to eat a carrot. I'm not saying it makes sense. If I were locked in a room full of carrots with nothing else to eat, I'd starve to death before I'd bite into one of them. I don't eat liver, Jell-O, custard, or tapioca, but especially I don't eat carrots.

Ice cream has always been one of my favorite foods.

When I was young, I hung out with two girls, twins, and another boy my age. We made ice cream several times a week and, to stay in good with them, we offered some to our parents. As I recall, we always made vanilla ice cream. It was before there were electric ice cream freezers so we alternated turning the freezer by hand. We never told our parents about it, but we made ice cream with the cream that came to about four inches from the top of the milk bottle. We filled the bottles to the top with milk so what we'd removed wouldn't show.

I don't like black shoes, even when I wear a blue suit. All my shoes are brown. I think of them as leather-colored.

My underwear has an elastic waistband, not buttons. I have favorite underwear, but what I put on depends on what's clean. My underwear is very satisfactory. I think women pay more attention to their underwear than men. (They pay more for theirs, I mean.)

I own six hats -- caps really -- but I never wear one. I've never cared much for hats, even in the winter.

The word "fedora" has fallen out of use but it doesn't really matter because men aren't wearing hats as much anymore.

I think garters are about gone, too. My socks all have elastic tops. I never liked garters; I always felt uncomfortable wearing them.

My grandfather had a friend who wore spats. Spats are long gone. I don't even think my father had spats. My grandfather, maybe.

Almost all of my shirts have button-down collars. I used to wear shirts that had little strips of plastic in slots in the collar. The shirts would be sent to the laundry and once they were ironed, the strips would be ruined.

There are eight pairs of shoes in my closet but I prefer to wear only two of them. I haven't bought a new pair of shoes in 10 years. Twenty, maybe! I guess I should wear the other six pairs so that the two I do wear don't wear out.

I never put anything in the back pocket of my pants. I prefer to keep my keys and cash in my front pockets.

Vests are almost as much of a thing of the past as spats. It may have something to do with the watches men carry. I was never a vest person. Men used to have pocketwatches, which they kept in their vests, but now we mostly wear wristwatches. The wrist is a better place for a watch than a pocket.

I wish there was some way to count the number of times I've worn something. I have preferences regarding my clothes. I've worn only a small number of the pants and shirts that I own. I should stick with my favorites and throw out anything I haven't worn in 10 years.

 

 

ALSO from andy rooney:

What Do You Do With Your Money
Andy Rooney

Our desire to buy things is sometimes bigger than the amount of money we have to pay for those things. It's too bad that our money doesn't increase the way our desire does. There ought to be banks where we could save desire. Interest would be high.

One Man's Trash / Treasure ...
Andy Rooney

We waste more in the United States than the people of most other countries even have. Driving through the streets of any major city on the day the trash collectors come -- or are supposed to come -- is an experience the citizens of a hundred less prosperous nations would find difficult to believe.

Wouldn't You Like to Be a Politician?
Andy Rooney

It's a good thing for all of us that there are people who want to be politicians because you couldn't pay most of us to take the job of mayor, governor or president of anything. Why are there people who want to do such difficult work? We're all glad they do, but why?

How Does Your State Rank
Andy Rooney

This column is sort of a cheat because I have a book called 'State Rankings 2009' that you probably don't have. I get to do an easy column once in a while, and this book has some fascinating numbers

The Newspaper Business Then and Now
Andy RooneyThe newspapers keep coming in my office. There's always today's paper before I've finished yesterday's and I get a lot of them. As you know, I'm an avid newspaper reader and I like all the little stories, so the paper takes me a long time to read.

How Does Your Brain Work
Andy Rooney

It may not matter to you, but I wish there was a better way for us to keep track of some of the numbers and information we gather throughout our lives. And then of course I'd like to be able to permanently forget some information. Sometimes I feel that we should be in more control of our brains.

For More Andy Rooney Click Here

 

(Write to Andy Rooney at Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207, or via email at aarooney5@yahoo.com)

(c) 2009 Andy Rooney

About Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney born January 14th, 1919 is a writer, humorist, radio and television personality.

Rooney became most famous as a humorist and political commentator with his weekly broadcast on the CBS News Program "60 Minutes" since 1978.