By Clarence Page

You can tell a lot about a year from its great quotations. The early 1960s gave us John F. Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can for your country." The 1990s gave us Bill Clinton's "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Last year gave us George W. Bush's reaction to plummeting financial markets: "If money isn't loosened up, this sucker could go down."

Without Bush to kick around anymore and Clinton on best behavior, 2009 could have been a year of slim pickings for memorable quote hunters. But, as they say in New Jersey, "Fugeddaboudit." In the age of ubiquitous cell phone, surveillance and reality-TV show cameras, this was the year of living famously. Our cup of quirky quotes runneth over. A sampling:

1. WHAT NEXT? HIS HAIR ON MOUNT RUSHMORE?

"I thought about Mandela, Dr. King and Gandhi and tried to put some perspective to all this and that is what I am doing now."

That's none other than ex-Gov. Rod Blagojevich of Illinois, now awaiting trial on federal corruption charges, on NBC's "Today" show at the start of his impeachment trial. Don't we all think of history's great champions of truth and justice and civil rights when we think of Blago?

2. AND YOU AGREED TO DO THIS INTERVIEW, WHY?

"Larry, you're being inappropriate."

That's fired beauty queen Carrie Prejean to CNN host Larry King. When he pressed her about her settlement with Miss California USA, Prejean unplugged her microphone and threatened to walk off King's program, but only sat there in a TV moment that TMZ.com described as "most awesomely awkward." According to reports, she was not nearly this shy in the "sex tape" that led to her firing.

3. QUIET, YOU LITTLE STOOL PIGEON

"Um, 'cause you guys said we did this for a show."

That was Falcon Heene, 6, aka "Balloon Boy," responding honestly and thus blowing daddy's cover on Larry King's show when asked why he did not come out of his hiding place when he heard his parents calling his name. The parents, Richard and Mayumi, were convicted and given jail sentences and fines for perpetrating the hoax that had authorities chasing a silver balloon in the belief the child was in it. Ah, well, the two reality TV veterans reportedly wanted to be on TV again in the worst way. They succeeded.

4. SURE, WHAT DO WORDS MEAN, ANYWAY?

"We don't want to get caught up in language."

That was U. S. Sen. Roland Burris, D-Ill., explaining to the Associated Press why, after saying "unequivocally" that he would only vote for a Senate health care bill that included a "strong" public option, he voted for one that didn't. Ah, details, details.

5. AND SHE BE DA WOMAN?

"Michael Steele! You be da man! You be da man."

That was Rep. Michelle Bachmann, getting her Minnesota Republican ebonics on after a get-busy pep talk by Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele at the podium of a Conservative Political Action Conference meeting in Washington. Hey, Steele said he wants to see more GOP outreach to people of color. Just call on Soul Sister Bachmann.

6. HOW ABOUT A BUNCH OF WISE GUYS?

"I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would, more often than not, reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life."

Who could forget Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor's often-used speech line that sparked cries of racism from some Republicans during her confirmation hearings? She'd like to. She called it a joke that fell flat and vowed to drop the line from future speeches. Wise.

7. NOT SO STUPID, THE COP GOT A FREE BEER

"I think it's fair to say ... that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home...."

Yes, that was the master orator President Barack Obama putting his foot in it by reacting to the arrest of friend. The result was a heavily covered but mostly ceremonial "beer summit" that took valuable attention away from the president's proposed health care overhaul. Since then the prez has been back pretty much back in post-racial mode.

8. AND A-ONE AND A-TWO...

"I got bigger critics than those judges."

Sure does. That was former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay after his first night of competition on ABC's "Dancing with the Stars." DeLay, who resigned in 2006 under indictment for conspiring to violate campaign finance reform laws, showed more than enough enthusiasm on the hit reality TV show to make up for his lack of talent until he was forced to drop out, citing stress fractures in both feet. Who knows? He may yet have a chance to teach Blagojevich the Texas Two-Step.

9. AUDACITY OF A TALK SHOW HOST

"This president, I think, has exposed himself as a guy, over and over and over again, who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture, I don't know what it is."

That was Fox TV host Glenn Beck on Obama's beer-gate. When a "Fox & Friends" co-host asked how Obama, who had surrounded himself with far more whites than blacks, had exposed himself as a hater, Beck replied: "I'm not saying that he doesn't like white people. I'm saying he has a problem. This guy is, I believe, a racist." A hater without hating? Beck did not explain further. Maybe next year.

10. FIRST YOU HAVE TO IN-PUT THE NUMBERS

"I will answer that, but I want to say I take full responsibility. ... It was TurboTax."

Thank you, Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner. Then Obama's nominee, he sheepishly revealed under congressional questioning the tax software that he used when he failed to pay $35,000 in federal self-employment taxes. In the end, Congress saw no reason why his failure to manage his own finances should prevent him from managing the nation's money.

11. DEPARTMENT OF EXTRA DEPARTMENTS DEPT.

"I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out."

That's Sarah Palin, referring in an ABC News interview to a department that does not exist. She was trying to explain why as president she wouldn't be subjected to the same ethics investigations that she went through as governor of Alaska. No wonder she thinks government is too big. Maybe she's thinking of departments Washington doesn't have yet.

 

© Clarence Page

 

Year of Living Quotably: Quirky Quotes 2009 | Clarence Page