Woman to Woman: Ways to Act Confident: Even if You Are Not
By Anne Marie O'Connor
Megan Fox would seem to have it all -- drop-dead looks, a sizzling body, fame, fortune and a brand-new husband. But in a recent interview, she confessed: "I have no confidence, and because of that I'm always second-guessing myself." You’d never guess it from her self-assurance in movies, on the red carpet and at photo shoots. Anyone can project A-list confidence, however, by following that old Hollywood mantra -- fake it till you make it. Here’s how.
“Negative thoughts are much more powerful than most people realize, and those yucky feelings can mess with your confidence,” say Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent, authors of How To Love Like a Hot Chick and Live Like a Hot Chick: How to Feel Sexy, Find Confidence, and Create Balance at Work and Play. Instead, focus on your good points. Remind yourself of your great sense of style, your quick wit or how good you are at crossword puzzles, for example.
Whenever you’re feeling a little blue, flash those pearly whites, says Vincent. “A bold smile makes you appear confident to others, which in turn can make you feel more self-assured,” she says.
“Acting confident is the easiest way to appear confident, and the last time we checked, confident people don’t walk around with their arms crossed, head down and shoulders hunched,” says Lipper. So stand up straight! Practice against the wall: Stand with the back of your head, your shoulder blades and bottom touching it. You should only be able to slip one hand between the wall and the curve of your back.
Hit the gym and you’ll feel more confident. Sure exercise has body benefits. But it can also boost your mood. According to experts, exercise releases endorphins, feel-good hormones that can make you feel happier and more confident.
Find a Role Model
Choose someone whose self-assurance you admire, recommends Astrid Harris, president of Astrid's Life Coaching in Dallas. It can be a colleague, a friend or even someone famous. When you’re in a situation where you’re not feeling confident, think, “What would my role model do?” Use that person as inspiration while on job interviews, first dates or any time you’re feeling less than 100 percent self-assured.
“Think of a time when you have done something really difficult -- and play it over and over like a video recording before you do the task at hand,” says Harris. Another good tip: Break your problem into small pieces and attack each separately. Write down your ultimate goal -- your dream job, a life partner or a house. Then make a to-do list of all the steps it will take to achieve that goal. For instance, to put your career on track, you may need to update your resume, start networking, search job sites and apply for positions. Keep checking items off that to-do list and refuse to give up; eventually it will come to fruition.
Woman to Woman: "Ways to Act Confident: Even if You Are Not"