- LATIN AMERICA
- MIDDLE EAST
- United Kingdom
- United States
- New Zealand
- South Africa
- iHaveNet.com: Video Games
"NHL 10" has first-person fighting this year. Here are half-a-dozen games that should consider including pugilism
It is exciting to watch, but not fun to do. Eyeglasses can get broken, resulting in a trip to
But in the virtual world of videogames, fighting is a very fun thing to do. A scientific survey involving two cats and a phone call to my friend Dave reveals that most people (and cats) would enjoy videogames more if they included fighting.
EA Sports must have conducted its own survey, because this year's version of "
Here are six games that would greatly benefit from including fighting.
1. "Guitar Hero: Metallica"
Why It Needs Fighting: I'm tired of all these reverential music games that turn into a hagiography for every band. Metallica is all messed up. They even made a movie about how all messed up the band is, the title of which is, I believe, "How This Bunch of Total A-Holes Somehow Managed to Make Good Music." We live in a post-"Behind the Music" age. These bands have been humanized. They are not gods or angels. I want to see Hetfield kick Lars' ass, something which I'm pretty sure has happened about one billion times.
2. "Animal Crossing"
Why It Needs Fighting: The absolute worst thing that can happen to you in "Animal Crossing" is that a dog might serenade you with a banjo. Oh, wait. I almost forgot. Cockroaches will get into your house if you don't go there for more than a few days. That sounds awful, until you realize how cute all the cockroaches are. Everything in this game is cute! Everything! Even if you put the hideous dad from "Jon & Kate Plus 8" into the game, he would somehow turn out cute. We need fighting! We need to be able to give Tom Nook the beating he deserves. "That's for the 20,000 Bells you made me overpay for my tiny, cute roach-filled house!" POW!
Why It Needs Fighting: The way that the color red can make a bull charge, or a sale at
4. "Wii Fit"
Why It Needs Fighting: "Wii Fit" is such a big hit that "Wii Fit Plus" is coming out. That means a lot of people bought this fitness-fun simulator. The problem is, millions of those "Wii Fits" have already been exiled to garages where they will live out their days until their AA batteries corrode and leave behind a toxic stain on the world.
5. "Endless Ocean"
Why It Needs Fighting: This is one of those school lessons that is dressed up as a videogame. It says, "Hey, everyone! Come play me! I'm just a videogame! Ha-ha, I'm fun!" But then you start playing it, and after about an hour you realize: 1. You have killed nothing; and 2. You have learned something. Damn you, "Endless Ocean" -- you are a shape-shifter! DEAR
Why It Needs Fighting: Here is an accurate description of "Myst": Go here. Do something boring. Go there. Do something boring. Then go there and do something even more boring. Then try to solve a puzzle. Then visit GameFAQs when you can't solve it. Then realize that the answer was so obvious. Then consider suicide. Then open another beer. Then play more "Myst." If this doesn't scream PUT FIGHTING IN ME, I don't know what does.
Available at Amazon.com:
Article: Copyright © iHaveNet
Video Games: 6 Video Games That Really Should Have Fighting in Them
Article: Copyright © Tribune Media Services