iHaveNet.com
Out of Play | United States
Online Breaking News Headlines Single Source to Headlines Breaking News Current Events Top Stories. Find out what is happening in News & the World. Check out iHaveNet.com for the latest news & current events articles plus Movie Reviews, Wolfgang Puck Recipes, NFL Previews Analysis and Politics. Your Single Source to News Articles, Current Events & Reviews.
  • HOME
  • WORLD
    • Africa
    • Asia Pacific
    • Balkans
    • Caucasas
    • Central Asia
    • Eastern Europe
    • Europe
    • Indian Subcontinent
    • Latin America
    • Middle East
    • North Africa
    • Scandinavia
    • Southeast Asia
    • United Kingdom
    • United States
    • Argentina
    • Australia
    • Austria
    • Benelux
    • Brazil
    • Canada
    • China
    • France
    • Germany
    • Greece
    • Hungary
    • India
    • Indonesia
    • Ireland
    • Israel
    • Italy
    • Japan
    • Korea
    • Mexico
    • New Zealand
    • Pakistan
    • Philippines
    • Poland
    • Russia
    • South Africa
    • Spain
    • Taiwan
    • Turkey
    • United States
  • USA
    • ECONOMICS
    • EDUCATION
    • ENVIRONMENT
    • FOREIGN POLICY
    • POLITICS
    • OPINION
    • TRADE
    • Atlanta
    • Baltimore
    • Bay Area
    • Boston
    • Chicago
    • Cleveland
    • DC Area
    • Dallas
    • Denver
    • Detroit
    • Houston
    • Los Angeles
    • Miami
    • New York
    • Philadelphia
    • Phoenix
    • Pittsburgh
    • Portland
    • San Diego
    • Seattle
    • Silicon Valley
    • Saint Louis
    • Tampa
    • Twin Cities
  • BUSINESS
    • FEATURES
    • eBUSINESS
    • HUMAN RESOURCES
    • MANAGEMENT
    • MARKETING
    • ENTREPRENEUR
    • SMALL BUSINESS
    • STOCK MARKETS
    • Agriculture
    • Airline
    • Auto
    • Beverage
    • Biotech
    • Book
    • Broadcast
    • Cable
    • Chemical
    • Clothing
    • Construction
    • Defense
    • Durable
    • Engineering
    • Electronics
    • Firearms
    • Food
    • Gaming
    • Healthcare
    • Hospitality
    • Leisure
    • Logistics
    • Metals
    • Mining
    • Movie
    • Music
    • Newspaper
    • Nondurable
    • Oil & Gas
    • Packaging
    • Pharmaceutic
    • Plastics
    • Real Estate
    • Retail
    • Shipping
    • Sports
    • Steelmaking
    • Textiles
    • Tobacco
    • Transportation
    • Travel
    • Utilities
  • WEALTH
    • CAREERS
    • INVESTING
    • PERSONAL FINANCE
    • REAL ESTATE
    • MARKETS
    • BUSINESS
  • STOCKS
    • ECONOMY
    • EMERGING MARKETS
    • STOCKS
    • FED WATCH
    • TECH STOCKS
    • BIOTECHS
    • COMMODITIES
    • MUTUAL FUNDS / ETFs
    • MERGERS / ACQUISITIONS
    • IPOs
    • 3M (MMM)
    • AT&T (T)
    • AIG (AIG)
    • Alcoa (AA)
    • Altria (MO)
    • American Express (AXP)
    • Apple (AAPL)
    • Bank of America (BAC)
    • Boeing (BA)
    • Caterpillar (CAT)
    • Chevron (CVX)
    • Cisco (CSCO)
    • Citigroup (C)
    • Coca Cola (KO)
    • Dell (DELL)
    • DuPont (DD)
    • Eastman Kodak (EK)
    • ExxonMobil (XOM)
    • FedEx (FDX)
    • General Electric (GE)
    • General Motors (GM)
    • Google (GOOG)
    • Hewlett-Packard (HPQ)
    • Home Depot (HD)
    • Honeywell (HON)
    • IBM (IBM)
    • Intel (INTC)
    • Int'l Paper (IP)
    • JP Morgan Chase (JPM)
    • J & J (JNJ)
    • McDonalds (MCD)
    • Merck (MRK)
    • Microsoft (MSFT)
    • P & G (PG)
    • United Tech (UTX)
    • Wal-Mart (WMT)
    • Walt Disney (DIS)
  • TECH
    • ADVANCED
    • FEATURES
    • INTERNET
    • INTERNET FEATURES
    • CYBERCULTURE
    • eCOMMERCE
    • mp3
    • SECURITY
    • GAMES
    • HANDHELD
    • SOFTWARE
    • PERSONAL
    • WIRELESS
  • HEALTH
    • AGING
    • ALTERNATIVE
    • AILMENTS
    • DRUGS
    • FITNESS
    • GENETICS
    • CHILDREN'S
    • MEN'S
    • WOMEN'S
  • LIFESTYLE
    • AUTOS
    • HOBBIES
    • EDUCATION
    • FAMILY
    • FASHION
    • FOOD
    • HOME DECOR
    • RELATIONSHIPS
    • PARENTING
    • PETS
    • TRAVEL
    • WOMEN
  • ENTERTAINMENT
    • BOOKS
    • TELEVISION
    • MUSIC
    • THE ARTS
    • MOVIES
    • CULTURE
  • SPORTS
    • BASEBALL
    • BASKETBALL
    • COLLEGES
    • FOOTBALL
    • GOLF
    • HOCKEY
    • OLYMPICS
    • SOCCER
    • TENNIS
  • Subscribe to RSS Feeds EMAIL ALERT Subscriptions from iHaveNet.com RSS
    • RSS | Politics
    • RSS | Recipes
    • RSS | NFL Football
    • RSS | Movie Reviews

ECONOMICS | EDUCATION | ENVIRONMENT | FOREIGN POLICY | POLITICS | OPINION | TRADE

U.S. CITIES:  

HOME > USA

Out of Play
Robert C. Koehler

 

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

It's been hard not to think about suicide lately -- the act of it, in isolation and, seemingly, incredible despair.

The gay teenagers who killed themselves recently, in acts of private surrender, have made a collective public statement, but what is that statement . . . other than "something's wrong"?

Whatever is wrong hits the young LGBT community with ferocity, but doesn't confine itself to that community. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds in the U.S. -- evidence of a system backing up on itself.

The young people who are on the other side of the trouble -- the bullies and the bystanders -- do not, for the most part, act with an independence of malice. They are channeling a cultural certainty far beyond their own reckoning: that some traits, such as shyness, clumsiness, glasses, whatever, are unacceptable. And they reap social approval for weeding out the losers and oddballs, so long, of course, as nothing goes embarrassingly wrong -- because as a society, this is what we do. We weed people out. We dehumanize individuals and groups. Any sort of anomaly will do as a pretext. It's as American as apple pie.

"Why," asked journalist and former Washington Post columnist Colman McCarthy, "are we violent but not illiterate?" The question contains the answer. We have failed to address, systemically, the roots of our violent behavior. I believe the collective public statement of the young gays who have so recently taken their lives -- whose faces and stories, which have now spread across the Internet, sear our consciences -- is precisely this: Do not dehumanize anyone.

Forgive us, Lord. We know not what we do.

To put it another way: "It takes a certain social norm to support bullying." So said Dr. Carl C. Bell, president of the Chicago-based Community Mental Health Council, who was quoted in a 2008 article on bullying in the journal Behavioral Pediatrics. The simple, seeming obviousness of this statement belies its enormity.

Changing this norm may be the most complex social problem we can take on: creating public spaces -- beginning with our schools -- that are, you might say, profoundly welcoming, that are open to everyone's deepest wholeness and truth. This sort of openness is more than a matter of "tolerance" and political correctness: a mere rebuttal of fundamentalist paranoia. It's active and ongoing, and requires internal as well as external vigilance. And the first burden is on the adults.

An example of an adult's rising to the occasion and attempting to change the social norm can be found in a breath-of-fresh-air of a book called "You Can't Say You Can't Play," by Vivian Gussin Paley, which was published in 1992. Paley was a kindergarten teacher who had seen the same pattern take shape in her classroom over and over: Some kids became "it" and got left out of the flow of public life; for some, the rejection lasted for the duration of their school careers. Grasping the complexity of the situation, she decided both to challenge and to seek the input of every child in her classroom on how this could be changed.

"By kindergarten," Paley writes, ". . . a structure begins to be revealed and will soon be carved in stone. Certain children will have the right to limit the social experiences of their classmates. Henceforth a ruling class will notify others of their acceptability, and the outsiders learn to anticipate the sting of rejection. Long after hitting and name-calling have been outlawed by the teachers, a more damaging phenomenon is allowed to take root, spreading like a weed from grade to grade.

"Must it be so? This year, I am compelled to find out. Posting a sign that reads YOU CAN'T SAY YOU CAN'T PLAY, I announce the new social order and, from the start, it is greeted with disbelief."

The remainder of the book describes what happened, much of it in the words of the kids themselves, whom Paley gently but firmly engages in ongoing discussion about the rule's nuances: about whether it can work at all, about whether it's fair, about the endless implications. It is not a "forced niceness" sort of rule, in which infractions are followed by punishment. From the outset, Paley is aware -- and explains to the kids as questions arise -- that the rule is door-opening and inclusive, requiring discussion, understanding and the gradual formation of consensus. Slowly it begins to separate play, the most important part of childhood, from possession, control and bossiness.

This honest, luminous little book comes as close as any account I know of to conveying the complexity of social change and the creation of a vibrant, positive peace. And this is just for kindergartners! The obstacles only multiply as we grow older, as habits entrench and toxic social forces lay claim to our thoughts and actions.

As I think about children driven to suicide for their differentness, I feel an urgency not for quick solutions but, paradoxically, for slow change. What can we do to let it begin today?

Robert Koehler is an award-winning, Chicago-based journalist. His new book, "Courage Grows Strong at the Wound" is now available.

 

Available at Amazon.com:

Hot Time in the Old Town: The Great Heat Wave of 1896 and the Making of Theodore Roosevelt

American Insurgents, American Patriots: The Revolution of the People

Broke, USA: From Pawnshops to Poverty, Inc.How the Working Poor Became Big Business

Were You Born on the Wrong Continent?: How the European Model Can Help You Get a Life

The Disappearing Center: Engaged Citizens, Polarization, and American Democracy

The Virtues of Mendacity: On Lying in Politics

Bush on the Home Front: Domestic Policy Triumphs and Setbacks

The Political Fix: Changing the Game of American Democracy, from the Grassroots to the White House

 

Read the latest political news.

 

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

 

  • Banks Need to Pay for Foreclosure Shenanigans
  • The Distinctly American Tradition of Charity
  • Giving Away a Fortune to Keep the American Dream Alive
  • Public Service Groups That Are Making a Difference
  • Public Service: Citizenship Is More than Paying Taxes and Voting
  • Public Service Is the Antidote For Voter Anger
  • Raising People's Quality of Life Drives Public Service
  • Public Service: Ordinary Americans Changing Communities for the Better
  • How to Make a Career in Public Service
  • How to Choose the Best Volunteering Option
  • Recession Driving Changes in Corporate Philanthropy
  • How to Avoid Charity Scams
  • The Pros and Cons of Military Service
  • Compulsory National Service Would Strengthen American Citizenship
  • Compulsory National Service Would Undermine the American Character
  • Why China Has a Point About Quantitative Easing
  • Out of Play
  • Eliminating Poverty: Lesson From Childhood
  • Wall Street Had a Meltdown, and All We Got (Besides the Bill) Was an Interminable Argument
  • Changing Our Tune to Natural Gas
  • Supreme Court's Citizens United Decision Will Warp Policymaking
  • Citizens United Decision: Money at Issue Funds Speech Not Candidates
  • Education and Wealth: Strongest Predictors of a Long Life
  • 'Citizen Journalism' Fad is Not Journalism
  • Life's Little Lows Big Part of Going to High School
  • Happiness is a Matter of Perspective
  • Binge Drinking Numbers Rising
  • The Republicans' Bizarre Attacks on Elites
  • Joe Klein and Diane Sawyer Tour the Real Reality
  • Troubled Times: When Mark Zuckerberg's Generosity Is Not Good Enough
  • Why on Earth Does America Want a Stronger Chinese Currency?
  • A Nation of Peasants?
  • Public Sector Workers Are the New Privileged Elite Class
  • Raising Retirement Age Will Help Save Social Security
  • Cutting Benefits Isn't the Way to Save Social Security
  • How the New Consumer Bureau Will Help You
  • Setting up the new Consumer Financial Protection Bureau
  • The Truth Behind UFO Sightings and the U.S. Air Force
  • American Dream of Home Ownership Has Become a Nightmare
  • 5 Traits of the New American Consumer
  • Stoned on Righteousness
  • Frank Assessment of Teacher Performance Not Pleasant but Useful
  • Large-Spirited America
  • America: A Labor of Love
  • America: Love's Labor Lost
  • What We Need to Do to Save America's Middle Class
  • Out of the Media Muck an Idiot Emerges
  • Dilemma of the Open Megaphone
  • Let's Keep Our Enemies Straight
  • Can the CIA Put a U.S.-Born al Qaeda Figure on its 'Kill List'?
  • A Christian Voice Argues for Banning Nuclear Weapons
  • Will New York's Mosque Protests Aid Terrorist Recruiters?
  • Repealing 14th Amendment Would Not Fix Immigration System
  • 14th Amendment Doesn't Make Illegal Aliens' Children Citizens
  • Immigration Reform Requires More Than Getting Tough or Feeling Good
  • Defending a New Domain: The Pentagon's Cyberstrategy
  • Before Katrina, There Was New York's 1896 Heat Wave
  • EPA Surrenders to NRA on Gun Control Issue
  • Rare Sighting: Common Sense from the Bench
  • Is the Great Mosque Debate Making Us Stupid?
  • Ground Zero Mosque Madness
  • Ground Zero Mosque: Islamophobia? Not Really
  • Gingrich and Palin: Twin Towers of Intolerance
  • Detroit's Agony, America's Choice
  • Iraq: U.S. Combat Troops' Departure Leaves Uncertainty in its Wake
  • Corporate Rotten Eggs
  • Strengthening the Political - Military Relationship
  • A New Plan For Nuclear Postures
  • Why the National Security Establishment Is Outdated
  • Protecting the Pentagon Budget
  • Approving the New START Treaty Keeps America Safe
  • The New START Treaty Weakens U.S. National Security
  • 'Ground Zero Mosque' Controversy Shows America's New Nativism
  • Ground Zero Mosque Presidential Paradox
  • Lack of Foresight Let 'Ground Zero Mosque' Controversy Balloon
  • Republicans Hit Obama for Ground Zero Mosque Comments
  • Obama's Ground Zero Mosque Mess
  • The Sum of Our Parts
  • The End of Books
  • Steven Slater Airline Meltdown Hardly a Surprise
  • Conversation on Race? We're Not Ready
  • Everyone a Bigot?
  • Let's Preserve Freedom at Ground Zero
  • 10 Things You Didn't Know About Social Security
  • Illogical Immigration
  • Constitutional Amendments and Citizenship Rights
  • Iran - The Next War
  • How to Maximize Your Social Security Benefits
  • How Working Longer Helps Build Retirement Security
  • Social Security Inflation Adjustment Debate
  • 21 Ways to Make Extra Money in Retirement
  • Will You Run Out of Money Before You Run Out of Years?
  • The Economy's Lasting Impact on Your Retirement
  • Unconventional Retirement Investing Strategies
  • Another Retirement Challenge for Women: Income Gender Gap
  • 15 Ways to Tell if You Are Ready to Retire
  • Investing Your Social Security Check? Consider These Factors
  • Alternatives to Traditional Retirement
  • 10 Uncommon Sources of Income in Retirement
  • Sizing Up Your Retirement Nest Egg Needs
  • Biggest Sources of Retirement Income
  • Assembling a Sturdy Retirement Portfolio
  • Retirement Savings Strategies for Late Starters
  • 7 Reasons to Downsize in Retirement
  • How to Tell if You Are Saving Enough for Retirement

Receive Political Commentary Enter your email address:



Delivered by FeedBurner and iHaveNet.com

Out of Play

 

(c) 2010 Robyn Blumner

 

Recommend

Search Powered By Google

Google Search   

Job & Career Search

career & job search                    job title, keywords, company, location

ADVERTISEMENT

POLITICS

Subscribe to Politics

Delivered by FeedBurner


Political Commentary

Advertisement

ADVERTISEMENT

Advertisement

Your Ad Here
Your Ad Here
  • HOME
  • WORLD
  • USA
  • BUSINESS
  • WEALTH
  • STOCKS
  • TECH
  • HEALTH
  • LIFESTYLE
  • ENTERTAINMENT
  • SPORTS

2010 Elections: Out of Play

  • Services:
  • RSS Feeds
  • Shopping
  • Email Alerts
  • Site Map
  • Privacy