Make the Honeymoon Period Last
Unless you're getting relationship counseling from Charlie Sheen, you're probably gonna want to make the heat of a new relationship last a little longer than "The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien."
How? Just follow these tips and watch the spark of those first few months together turn into a lasting glow.
1. Keep Dating
Let her know you're still working to woo her and not just satisfied to have her. And be a little open-minded about the kinds of dates you choose. Taking her to every new Adam Sandler movie does not count, even if he does play a different kind of adolescent in each. "Find out what she wants to do," says Dr. JoAnn Magdoff, a New York City-based psychotherapist and relationship expert. "You won't only be pleasing her; you'll be exploring new fun options for yourself." Make it a regular Saturday night ritual -- or a first-Saturday-of-the-month ritual if you're broke or cheap.
2. Mix up the Program
Nothing gets you into a romantic black hole like falling into a routine. Get too comfortable with your girl and you'll miss out on all her signals. And when you become a dull dude, she'll start looking for Mr. Excitement. Who's that? Anybody who isn't you. In fact, it will work better if you actually talk to her about how to make things more interesting. "If you come up with romantic ideas together, you'll learn more about each other and might wind up trying stuff neither of you would think of doing on your own," says Magdoff.
3. Wanna Get Away?
Don't fret -- you don't have to hit Paris or Honolulu to take your baby over the rainbow. Any trip away from your regular surroundings will give you a chance to focus on her alone in a different environment and rebuild the romance. According to Magdoff, you don't even need to go outside the door to get it done. Instead, construct elements of a romantic trip at home -- a little luau, French love notes hidden around the apartment -- to let your love know you can still work it like Paul Rudd in her favorite rom-com.
Ouch! OK, why don't you try writing all the snappy headlines? The point is, get into something with your girl that you can learn and grow in together. Whether it's taking Pilates to get in shape for the summer or an Italian cooking class to keep things hot in all corners of the house, women love it when guys stretch themselves and make an effort to grow the relationship. Yeah, we think it's goopy too. But it will get you into shape, bring you better meals and make you more attractive to her! It's a win-win-WIN!
So get off the couch and wipe the crumbs off your shirt. You've gotten fat and complacent … and to be honest, even we're a bit turned off. Just imagine how your girlfriend feels! All it takes is a little effort and innovation to let her know you haven't forgotten why you asked her out in the first place.
Mike Hammer has written about relationships for Match.com, MSN.com and Maxim. You'd think he'd have to be getting close to understanding women by now.
Available at Amazon.com:
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- Girlfriends Rule
- Triple Threat of Toxic Friends
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