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By Katy Hopkins
Michael Lopresti is facing the biggest decision he's ever made, as his mom, Mary Beth, puts it.
A high school senior with hopes of one day becoming a surgeon, Michael followed the traditional college path: He visited campuses, applied to a range of schools -- including the University of Maryland -- Baltimore County (for the academics), the University of Mary Washington (for the campus feel), and the University of Virginia (for a reach school) -- and was accepted to most.
Now, armed with his acceptance letters, Michael has one month to select the college where he plans to spend the next four years, as his parents simultaneously balance supporting his choices with finding a way to foot the accompanying bills. The process of picking the right college is often laden with anxiety, says clinical psychologist Jerry Weichman.
"Very rarely is there going to be a clear cut 'yes' when it comes to making a college decision," says Weichman, who specializes in adolescent counseling. "It's a huge commitment and any doubt in their decision process often increases their stress [and] anxiety -- and they begin to question whether they're making the right decision or not."
But the college selection process doesn't need to be overwhelmingly stressful for students or parents -- it can even be fun, experts say. Take a deep breath and use these tips from college officials, coaches, and counselors to pick the right college for you:
1. Revisit your short list
Accepted to more than one of your top choices? That's an enviable position to be in, though it might not feel like it. As you weigh several appealing options, think back to why you applied to each, counselors recommend.
"It's always very key to bring them back to, 'How did you initially identify the schools that were a good fit for you; why did you choose this particular school; and how does this match up against schools B, C, and D on your list'?" says Erika Coplon, director of the College Admissions Coaching program at InsideTrack.
2. Rank your priorities
Make an extended list of pros and cons, Weichman instructs his clients. Identify several aspects of college life -- the size of the school, for instance, or the strength of the athletic program -- and numerically rank each by importance to you. When "you get a number out of it," he says, "You can see how much more it really weighs on their mind."
3. Go back to school
Students and parents should have no unanswered questions by the time they send their deposit to a school, experts say. While an initial campus visit is a good time to check out the dorms, sample the food, and get a feel for campus life, students and parents should take a list of 10 to 15 additional, in-depth questions with them on a second trip, recommends Bob Roth, college and career coach and author of College Success: Advice for Parents of High School and College Students.
4. Focus on your endgame
For the Lopresti family, and many others like them, finding a school involves balancing cost, academics, and campus life. Though Mrs. Lopresti admits she is drawn to schools with bustling atmospheres, "my husband, the logical one, would say, 'Think about why you're going, and make the best decision for where you want to be four years from now,'" she says. "Keep your eye on the end: where you want to be in your career [and] where you want to be financially. That has to weigh into it."
Ideally, a high school senior should have at least a vague career path, Roth claims. "In many cases, students go to college not knowing what they want to do," he says. "I think it's extremely important to try to narrow it down before you pick the college. We all know from any early age whether we're good in math and science, whether we're good at business -- we have to begin to understand ourselves a little bit better, and I think many students don't take the time to think about that."
5. Delve into the departments
Students and parents may look to college rankings to help make a decision, but don't forget that academic prestige can be examined on a smaller scale. A school that excels in biology, for example, may have a less regarded history department.
Do some Internet research or reach out directly to faculty members in your prospective department, Roth recommends. Give extra consideration to a school whose faculty members are still actively engaged with employers in a given field, as this can open doors to internships, research opportunities, and jobs, he says.
6. Investigate the job connections
Developing a four-year plan to land a job is easier with a robust campus career services center, a vital tool for students that can differ widely by college, Roth says. Try to glean specifics about job fairs, on-campus interviews, and even the number of students per career counselor at the school.
"How often can [a student] actually get into the career service office to talk to somebody?" Roth recommends asking. "Can they get in there once a semester, or are they going to be lucky to get in there once during the whole four years that they're going to school? You can judge a college to some degree by the number of career services people: Is the college putting their money in a place that will actually help the students?"
7. Compare financial aid packages
Though many schools have yet to release full financial aid offers, parents and students can begin to explore their financial options through free tools like the one offered by SimpleTuition. By inputting tuition and sources of aid, loans, and cash, the tool shows users what a monthly loan payment will look like after graduation at up to three schools simultaneously.
"Colleges with higher sticker prices might actually not be much more expensive on a monthly basis," says Kevin Walker, cofounder of SimpleTuition. "Having those numbers in hand when you make a decision among the schools you're thinking about can be really helpful."
As the deadline nears and tensions rise, students and parents may butt heads over a college decision. "Communication is the key," says Doug Badger, director of admission at Grinnell College . "Students and parents need to sit down and really talk about...the pieces that are serving as roadblocks to some consensus, and step through them piece by piece." In many cases, parents should advise without becoming overbearing or making the student's decision themselves, experts say.
9. Don't take rejection personally
You shouldn't dwell on a rejection letter, even one from a dream school, counselors assert. "It's hard for somebody who has their heart set on something at 17 or 18 years old to find out that they didn't get what they want," Roth, the college coach, acknowledges.
"But all you can do [as a parent] is empathize, sympathize, and try to point out to them that there are other alternatives. There is always another way." An even worse result, counselors say, is letting disappointment stymie the decision you still have to make.
10. Don't procrastinate
"What you see is: 'It's a difficult decision, so I'm going to put it off,'" InsideTrack's Coplon says. "Start the work now. Spend the next few weeks doing some really serious work to make the right decision."
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