Humor by Mark Bazer

Will you read one more story about the Super Bowl? I promise not to break down the performance of the Patriots' secondary or anything like that.

No, this one is about a ticket.

Specifically, a Super Bowl ticket that fell into my lap . . . and divided a nation. Or at least divided my friends on Facebook.

Here's how it went down: Four days before the Super Bowl, a relative texted me:

"got extra ticket to SB. u would be in the nosebleeds and sit by yourself, but u would at the game!! No cost to u. Would u want?"

Would i want???

I live in Chicago, the game was three hours away . . . I grew up in New England and love the Patriots . . . I talk to myself a lot so sitting alone is never a problem.

Again, would i want???

But here was the catch: I'd already promised my son, Saul, that I'd watch the game with him. He's 6. And he was ready for some football.

I brought my dilemma up on Facebook, and the replies left me more confused than before I'd asked.

Parents told me to go, single people to stay home. A rabbi (and Patriots fan) advised me in no uncertain terms to take the ticket; a sarcastic comedy writer said I had to turn it down.

Just when you think you know which of your friends are amoral jackasses and which are the gentle lambs, something like this comes along.

For every friend who wrote something like, "Stay home with the boy. What he remembers about it in 10 years will be more important than what you remember," another answered, "Wait, what's the dilemma exactly? Go!"

There were the "trick your kid" answers: "Go to the Super Bowl. DVR the game. Watch it again with your son the following weekend and pretend it is live."

And cynical ones: "Go. Otherwise, when he says he hates you seven years from now, you'll be kicking yourself in regret. . . ."

And my favorite: "Mark, Congratulations! I'm very happy for you. Saul and I are looking forward to your stories. Send plenty of pictures before, during and after the game."

My mind changed with every Facebook posting. And then, at the moment of truth, I . . . turned the ticket down.

I couldn't bear the thought of sending my son the message, "Sorry, kid, I got a better offer." Also, getting to and from the game would've been a hassle.

You can argue that I am a fool. But I dodge a major bullet (aside from not having to witness live the outcome of the game, WHICH WE WILL NOT DISCUSS).

I promise the following is true:

My son has a friend who lives down the street from us. His dad is from New England and is also a Patriots fan. His dad got two tickets to the Super Bowl.

Somehow, the son, being 7, got it in his head that there were three tickets and that he could take a friend to the game. Or maybe he was just saying it to be cool. Either way, the kid "offered" my son his extra ticket.

My son told me all this two days before the game -- completely unaware of my Super Bowl dilemma.

"Wow," I said to my son. "What'd you say?"

To which he answered, "I told him, 'no' -- that I wanted to watch with my daddy."

Epilogue: My son watched the Super Bowl for five minutes before going off to play.

Humor & Funny Stories - My Super Dilemma | Humor - Mark Bazer

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