Corrupt or Just Clueless? You Decide
Clarence Page

I have an idea for a new television show about politics. I'd call it "Corrupt? Or Just Clueless?"

I imagine it as a sort of combination of "Meet the Press," "Judge Judy" and "The Price is Right." I told you it was about politics.

On each show, misbehaving newsmakers would be auditioned and judged for the lameness of their excuses.

A panel of celebrity judges in the fashion of "American Idol" would humiliate them further, while viewers would take a vote via phone or Internet as to whether the accused pol is truly venal or just an idiot.

I am inspired, as you might guess, by the robust closing arguments that attorney Sam Adam Jr. gave for his celebrity client, former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, who was accused of, among other high crimes, trying to sell President Barack Obama's U. S. Senate seat to the highest bidder.

Surely Adam's closing argument will be remembered in the annals of American legal history as the dull-knife defense.

"No one's going to say he's the sharpest knife in the drawer," Adam assured the jury, "but he's not corrupt."

In other words, don't hate him because he's a nutball whose antics earned him the nickname "Governor Goofy" from the Chicago Tribune's editorial board.

The Democratic ex-governor meant no harm, Adam insisted, despite the bad impression left by federal prosecutors' 24 counts against him.

He was alleged to have misused his powers as governor to extort campaign contributions from those seeking legislation, appointments or other favors. Not that there's anything wrong with that, his defense countered.

Rather, they argued, the prosecutors were trying to criminalize ways, means and horse trading through which political business has been done since the birth of the wink, the nod, the back pat and the elbow massage.

After all, said Adam, "this is a man who considered appointing Oprah Winfrey [to the U.S. Senate]." Indeed, that was one of Blago's better ideas.

Yet Adam got me to thinking: This is hardly the first time that a newsmaker has thrown himself on the mercy of the American public and pleaded that, though he may be dumb, silly, ignorant or clueless, at least he's not a crook.

Rep. Charles Rangel, for example, tried to sound upbeat last week as he faced an ethics subcommittee hearing on 13 alleged violations of House rules, charges that forced him to give up his chairmanship of the House Ways and Means Committee.

"While this is not a good day for me," the New York Democrat told reporters outside the hearing, "the only good thing I can find is that there's no inference of corruption at all."

None? That's in the eye of the beholder. He is alleged to have violated House gift rules and failed to disclose taxable income on a rental property in the Dominican Republic, among other allegations. It strains one's belief to hear that the nation's top tax writer as Ways and Means chairman could be even more confused than we are about the tax laws that he helped to create.

Still, the popular and personable ("Call me Charlie") Rangel would much rather be seen as clueless than corrupt.

Too late for that in the case of former Rep. James Traficant of Ohio, the last House member to be face an open ethics committee trial. Known for announcing "Beam me up, Scotty," at the end of his floor speeches, the then-Democrat was expelled in 2002 after he was convicted of 10 felony counts including bribery and racketeering.

More recently he's been speaking at Tea Party rallies, broadcasting a weekend radio talk show in Cleveland, and trying to get back on the ballot to win his old congressional seat back as an independent. Corrupt or clueless? Who cares? If anyone is rooting for him, it is reporters because he is so much fun to cover.

One more possible contestant: Sen. John Kerry was ironing out an embarrassing tax oversight of his own. The Boston Herald reported that Massachusetts Democrat has been keeping his new $7 million yacht parked in Rhode Island for repairs, which also spared him an estimated $500,000 in his home state taxes.

Not corrupt, said Kerry in his own defense, just tardy. "I don't think I dealt with (the controversy) fast enough, effectively enough," he told the Boston Globe. He will pay his home states' taxes anyway, he said, to avoid even the appearance of avoiding taxes on his new toy. Maybe he does have a clue after all.

Available at Amazon.com:

The Feminine Mystique

The Disappearing Center: Engaged Citizens, Polarization, and American Democracy

The Virtues of Mendacity: On Lying in Politics

Bush on the Home Front: Domestic Policy Triumphs and Setbacks

The Political Fix: Changing the Game of American Democracy, from the Grassroots to the White House

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