Humor by Greg Schwem

There is apparently a new cabinet position at the White House, one created and filled in secret, but whose occupant is starting to make his or her presence known.

Of course, I'm talking about the Secretary of Twitter.

Does anyone seriously believe President Obama himself has time to tweet? His recent lunch with Mitt Romney was so quick, the menu most likely consisted of microwavable burritos, Minute Rice and instant coffee. And yet, tweets from @BarackObama are coming fast and furious, many with an oh-so-clever #My2k hashtag.

"Congress needs to act now so taxes don't go up for millions of Americans. What would $2,200 help your family do? #My2k"

It's all part of a PR campaign, no doubt concocted in a small West Wing office by a 20-something with an iPhone, urging Congress to extend the Bush era tax cuts before America falls off the fiscal cliff or, in Twitter terms, the #fiscalcliff. It appears to be gathering steam. According to @whitehouse (not to be confused with @BarackObama), more than 132,000 tweets appeared less than 24 hours after the president unveiled the #My2k tag.

They ranged from supportive: "#My2k Two mortgage payments . . . or seven car payments . . . or ten months of gas to get to work . . . or a year of student loan payments"

To angry: "#My2k is crap. Obama SIGNED the Budget Control Act of 2011 which is the Fiscal Cliff"

To materialistic: "#My2k means buying one direction and Justin Bieber tickets. And a flight to see my grandma in N.Y."

It makes sense that our most social media-savvy president, whom many feel won a second term only because of his ability to harness the powers of Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and the like, would resort to strong-arming Congress via hashtags and @ signs. Don't you wonder how other presidents would have used Twitter had it been available throughout history?

Assembling an army for the Revolutionary War would have been so much easier had President George Washington, a general at the time, stirred the pot via Twitter: "Tired of repression and tyranny? Use hashtag #KingGeorgeisadoofus."

President Lincoln could have avoided the hassles of traveling to Gettysburg by opting for Twitter instead: "All men are created equal. #thiscouldbeagreatmovie"

President William Henry Harrison, who died from pneumonia just one month into his term, could have forewarned the country, via Twitter, that his reign would be short: "Just sneezed. Hope it's nothing serious. #coldandfluseason"

Harry Truman strikes me as a president who would have millions of Twitter followers simply because his tweets would evoke daily chuckles: "Election over. Heading home to Missouri. Congratulations to President Dewey . . . NOT! #deweydefeatstruman"

Then there's Richard Nixon, who may have well served two full terms if only he'd been able to tag every tweet #Iamnotacrook.

Then again, Nixon's detractors would have most likely launched their own Twitter campaign, urging everyone to tweet using hashtag #thetaperecorderdoesntlie

The only president I could see shunning Twitter while in office is Bill Clinton, simply because it would have been a poor substitute for his polished oratorical skills. Clinton had, and still has, the ability to make the American public believe ANYTHING -- even the Easter Bunny's existence -- simply by opening his mouth. Tweeting with hashtag #Ididnothavesexwiththatwoman just doesn't have the same effect as a live press conference.

It's too early to tell if Obama's Twitter campaign will be successful -- but if it is, look out. Expect lawyers to lobby Supreme Court justices with hashtags. Peace negotiations in the Middle East may occur via Twitter as opposed to face-to-face dialogue. Ditto for the National Hockey League standoff.

My 15-year-old daughter is currently trying to decide on a career. I'm going to suggest she explore the new and exciting world of Twitter PR.

Better yet, I'll just send her a tweet. Using hashtag #thinkIfoundyouajob.

Humorist Greg Schwem is a stand-up comedian and author of Text Me If You're Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad

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