Where Have all the Good Girls Gone?

Humor by Diane Farr

Elin Nordegren finally said her piece publicly last week, after holding her tongue for three-quarters of a year. If someone had made a cuckoldess of me at least 10 times in less than half that many years of marriage, I fear I would not have behaved with such grace.

Yet Elin barely spoke of her own loss. She mostly used her on-air time to address what she's been accused of. Saying she didn't beat her husband with his clubs last November (although I was hoping she did for the iron-y,) that she did not know he was sleeping around and that all the money she has "gotten" in divorce can't buy happiness.

Why does the wife and mother in Tiger Wood's lecherous tale need to defend herself? Elin's humility inspired me to check how the public is feeling about the world's most downgraded golfer. A poll by Harris Interactive tallied thousands of online fans to find the most popular male sports figure today is a tie between Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant. Meanwhile, a Forbes Magazine poll of the most hated sports stars tallied Michael "dog killa" Vick at No. 1.

So, America is incensed when dogs are treated horribly but not when women are? It's just the way the cookie (or marriage) crumbles?

And don't misunderstand which women I'm concerned about. It's not those being paid for their indiscretions with a married guy -- whether it be cash for the sex, or a payment from a magazine that glorifies their "ability" to lay down, or a reality TV show that glamorizes their short-sighted choices. Or those making bank on the newest form of sexual climax: the money made in a legal settlement to keep the details of your "private affair" private. No, I'm not cheerleading those working girls. I'm concerned for the women Tiger, Kobe, Lawrence Taylor and even coach Rick Pitino made a vow to honor before friends, family, state and God: their wives. Because their graceful silence feels like it's being perceived as an omission of guilt.

Do we believe that wives of rich and famous men have led a monetarily comfortable life and therefore should be allowed no other respect? That these pretty ladies "knew what they were in for" when they married someone in the spotlight so, tough noogies? If so, should we all just collectively embrace "The Great Gatsby" theory that women should be beautiful and foolish and get on with it?

This summation felt a little Gloria Steinemeque even to me until I discovered that the poll in which Kobe and Tiger tied in popularity breaks down those queried to show Tiger's biggest supporters are men and Kobe's are women -- which made me curse Daisy Buchanan aloud.

I lived in Los Angeles during Kobe's "almost" rape trial. Many former fans and I gave away Lakers tickets as if they were stamps because we wouldn't support a man or a franchise that used their resources to secure "a hall pass" from a sexual assault case -- delaying it (to play ball) until it fell apart. But a few wins, I mean years, later and all Kobe is remembered for now is his commitment on the court.

I get that Woods and Bryant have achieved epic things in their field and a sports fan might revere them for just that and forgive all else. However, the most despised player in these polls, Michael Vick, did not break a promise to his wife and yet was arrested, bankrupted, demonized and dissolved as player for a few years -- and forever as a person.

In comparison, the lack of accountably when harming women mentally or physically feels unsettling. But it becomes truly disturbing when you consider that both Vick's dogs and Woods' paramours have their own TV shows and have garnered much more attention and, because of their following, seemingly more support than the good girl Elin Nordegren who is not looking for a narcissistic rise to fame via her bedroom and, therefore, may be nothing more than last week's news forever more.

Diane Farr is known for her roles in "Californication," "Numb3rs" and "Rescue Me," and as the author of The Girl Code: The Secret Language of Single Women.

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