I recently purchased an iPad and, like most users, now spend every waking moment perusing the online
The good people at Apple have helped me navigate the half-million apps by grouping them into categories. If I'm feeling out of shape, I can search "Health and Fitness." If my entrepreneurial spirit kicks in, there are thousands of business apps available. Lazy? Just tap "Productivity" apps.
They also have created something called "push notifications." That's the technical term. The nontechnical term is "alerts." The even more nontechnical term is "too lazy to lift a finger to actually open the app." Which is why, when I turn on my iPad, the home screen shows my flight status courtesy of the
Other companies have jumped on the alerts bandwagon, as well. We can tell our bank to alert us, via email, when mortgage and car payments are due. Or we can just use the automatic withdrawal feature and let the bank remove funds from our accounts once a month in case we forget to read our email.
My wife, an avid jogger, recently purchased a Nike sport watch that tracks every tedious step of her daily journeys. That's a useful feature, but the watch also alerts her that she hasn't run in awhile, even taunting her with messages like, "Ready for another run?" and "Are we running today?"
Nike wisely chose not to include a keyboard on this watch, thereby eliminating the user's desire to type a truthful reply like, "Yes! Running to hardware store to purchase sledgehammer for u."
Personally, I don't need new technology to tell me I'm neglecting exercise. My 20-year-old bathroom scale does that just fine, thank you. But developers hoping to create the next great app for the
I ask you, who is FORGETTING to feed their baby?
My wife and I have two children, both of whom were born PIP ("pre-iPad" or "pre-iPhone" . . . you choose). Still, we had an app that told us when it was time to feed the baby. It was called THE BABY!!! Our infant offspring faithfully told us when they were hungry, via their lungs. This feature never failed. And the best part? Our kids didn't need to be hooked to the Internet for the alert to function.
Even more strange is that Basic Baby Feedings allows the user to send baby information to Twitter or
"Congratulations! You are truly an amazing parent!"
Speaking of parents, for couples who are struggling to conceive a child, there's hope thanks to numerous apps that actually alert you when a woman's body is right for conception. However, it might be wise to turn off any sound feature associated with these apps. How embarrassing to have your iPhone ding loudly at a dinner party and then have to explain why the two of you must leave immediately.
Apple customers also quickly learn that being informed often comes with a price. iEarthquake alerts you that an earthquake, tsunami, flood, tornado, cyclone or other cataclysmic event may be bearing down on your area. The app costs
That leaves users with a choice: spend three bucks or get the free version and wonder why everybody in the neighborhood is boarding up their windows and fleeing to higher ground.
As I age, I know I will have to rely on these push notifications more than I care to admit. Just recently I needed the calendar app to alert me to a radio interview that had completely slipped my mind.
Yet even if my memory fails completely, I can say one thing with absolute certainty:
I will NEVER, EVER download Bowel Mover Pro.
- Parents: Have Your Kids Had the Photo Talk?
- The Only Word You Need to Remember is 'Apple'
- Here's Some Information You Don't Need
- For All School Needs, Visit the Third House on the Left
- Is It Too Late to Reconsider Chicago's Olympic Bid?
- Home is Always The Best Place to Be
- The Glories of Maturity
- The White House? No Thank You
- Don't Order the Reindeer
- Repair My Cellphone, Repair My Life
- 'None of Your Business' Makes for Good Business
- Click Here to Dislike
- A Fish-Out-of-Water Tale
- An Appreciative Husband's Gratitude
- Everything is Coming Up 'Awesome'
- The Sad, Pathetic Personality of a Computer Hacker
- The Hershey's Diet: Love, Support and 20 Extra Pounds
- How I Almost Lost Two Pounds
- Goodbye, Old Pal
- To My Child, I Bequeath The Blade
- Please Let Lindsay Lohan Sleep
- My Neighbor The Stranger
- Nothing Comes
- The Caesar Salad will be $10,000
- The Do-It-Yourself Guide To Not Attempting It At All
- Pigeon Paradise
- Are You My Daughter? Prove It!
- I Don't Want The Music to Stop
- Against Whistling
- The Urge to Eat
- It Only Happens in the Movies
- I Can Dine Alone But I Still Need a Hug
- Put Up Your #Dukes and Tweet Like a Man!
- Warning: This Program is Rated NSFCPP
- Are Band-Aids Starter Tattoos for Kids?
- Your Kid's Next Birthday Party -- Done Wrong!
- Your Baby Can Now Get The Celebrity Treatment!
- Burying Barbie and Other Depressing Parental Duties
- An Actor's Tips for Jobhunting
- Just a Few Observations, and They're on the House
- Sinatra Had the Quality of Genius
- I Didn't Do It, But I'll Resign Anyway
- 'How Are You Paying For This?'
- Knowledge Times Weight Equals Diploma
- The Wife: A True Musical Oddity
- It's Only The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, But
(c) 2012 Tribune Media Services, Inc.