iHaveNet.com
What's News to You is News to Me | Andy Rooney
Online Breaking News Headlines Single Source to Headlines Breaking News Current Events Top Stories. Find out what is happening in News & the World. Check out iHaveNet.com for the latest news & current events articles plus Movie Reviews, Wolfgang Puck Recipes, NFL Previews Analysis and Politics. Your Single Source to News Articles, Current Events & Reviews.
  • HOME
  • WORLD
    • Africa
    • Asia Pacific
    • Balkans
    • Caucasas
    • Central Asia
    • Eastern Europe
    • Europe
    • Indian Subcontinent
    • Latin America
    • Middle East
    • North Africa
    • Scandinavia
    • Southeast Asia
    • United Kingdom
    • United States
    • Argentina
    • Australia
    • Austria
    • Benelux
    • Brazil
    • Canada
    • China
    • France
    • Germany
    • Greece
    • Hungary
    • India
    • Indonesia
    • Ireland
    • Israel
    • Italy
    • Japan
    • Korea
    • Mexico
    • New Zealand
    • Pakistan
    • Philippines
    • Poland
    • Russia
    • South Africa
    • Spain
    • Taiwan
    • Turkey
    • United States
  • USA
    • ECONOMICS
    • EDUCATION
    • ENVIRONMENT
    • FOREIGN POLICY
    • POLITICS
    • OPINION
    • TRADE
    • Atlanta
    • Baltimore
    • Bay Area
    • Boston
    • Chicago
    • Cleveland
    • DC Area
    • Dallas
    • Denver
    • Detroit
    • Houston
    • Los Angeles
    • Miami
    • New York
    • Philadelphia
    • Phoenix
    • Pittsburgh
    • Portland
    • San Diego
    • Seattle
    • Silicon Valley
    • Saint Louis
    • Tampa
    • Twin Cities
  • BUSINESS
    • FEATURES
    • eBUSINESS
    • HUMAN RESOURCES
    • MANAGEMENT
    • MARKETING
    • ENTREPRENEUR
    • SMALL BUSINESS
    • STOCK MARKETS
    • Agriculture
    • Airline
    • Auto
    • Beverage
    • Biotech
    • Book
    • Broadcast
    • Cable
    • Chemical
    • Clothing
    • Construction
    • Defense
    • Durable
    • Engineering
    • Electronics
    • Firearms
    • Food
    • Gaming
    • Healthcare
    • Hospitality
    • Leisure
    • Logistics
    • Metals
    • Mining
    • Movie
    • Music
    • Newspaper
    • Nondurable
    • Oil & Gas
    • Packaging
    • Pharmaceutic
    • Plastics
    • Real Estate
    • Retail
    • Shipping
    • Sports
    • Steelmaking
    • Textiles
    • Tobacco
    • Transportation
    • Travel
    • Utilities
  • WEALTH
    • CAREERS
    • INVESTING
    • PERSONAL FINANCE
    • REAL ESTATE
    • MARKETS
    • BUSINESS
  • STOCKS
    • ECONOMY
    • EMERGING MARKETS
    • STOCKS
    • FED WATCH
    • TECH STOCKS
    • BIOTECHS
    • COMMODITIES
    • MUTUAL FUNDS / ETFs
    • MERGERS / ACQUISITIONS
    • IPOs
    • 3M (MMM)
    • AT&T (T)
    • AIG (AIG)
    • Alcoa (AA)
    • Altria (MO)
    • American Express (AXP)
    • Apple (AAPL)
    • Bank of America (BAC)
    • Boeing (BA)
    • Caterpillar (CAT)
    • Chevron (CVX)
    • Cisco (CSCO)
    • Citigroup (C)
    • Coca Cola (KO)
    • Dell (DELL)
    • DuPont (DD)
    • Eastman Kodak (EK)
    • ExxonMobil (XOM)
    • FedEx (FDX)
    • General Electric (GE)
    • General Motors (GM)
    • Google (GOOG)
    • Hewlett-Packard (HPQ)
    • Home Depot (HD)
    • Honeywell (HON)
    • IBM (IBM)
    • Intel (INTC)
    • Int'l Paper (IP)
    • JP Morgan Chase (JPM)
    • J & J (JNJ)
    • McDonalds (MCD)
    • Merck (MRK)
    • Microsoft (MSFT)
    • P & G (PG)
    • United Tech (UTX)
    • Wal-Mart (WMT)
    • Walt Disney (DIS)
  • TECH
    • ADVANCED
    • FEATURES
    • INTERNET
    • INTERNET FEATURES
    • CYBERCULTURE
    • eCOMMERCE
    • mp3
    • SECURITY
    • GAMES
    • HANDHELD
    • SOFTWARE
    • PERSONAL
    • WIRELESS
  • HEALTH
    • AGING
    • ALTERNATIVE
    • AILMENTS
    • DRUGS
    • FITNESS
    • GENETICS
    • CHILDREN'S
    • MEN'S
    • WOMEN'S
  • LIFESTYLE
    • AUTOS
    • HOBBIES
    • EDUCATION
    • FAMILY
    • FASHION
    • FOOD
    • HOME DECOR
    • RELATIONSHIPS
    • PARENTING
    • PETS
    • TRAVEL
    • WOMEN
  • ENTERTAINMENT
    • BOOKS
    • TELEVISION
    • MUSIC
    • THE ARTS
    • MOVIES
    • CULTURE
  • SPORTS
    • BASEBALL
    • BASKETBALL
    • COLLEGES
    • FOOTBALL
    • GOLF
    • HOCKEY
    • OLYMPICS
    • SOCCER
    • TENNIS
  • Subscribe to RSS Feeds EMAIL ALERT Subscriptions from iHaveNet.com RSS
    • RSS | Politics
    • RSS | Recipes
    • RSS | NFL Football
    • RSS | Movie Reviews
What's News to You is News to Me
Andy Rooney

HOME > USA > HUMOR

 

Andy Rooney, Andy Rooney CBS 60 Minutes, Andy Rooney writer humorist television personality

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

There are maybe 25,000 to 30,000 words in the average daily New York Times. I like The Times and don't feel up on what's going on in the world until I've read it.

I'm looking through the copies of this week's New York Times piled in my office and checking off which stories I read and which I didn't. The "didn'ts" outnumber the "dids" three to one. If I read The Times from cover to cover, it would be afternoon by the time I was done. With time out for the day's activities, tomorrow's paper would have come before I finished today's.

Here are the headlines on some of the stories I was interested in:

"OBAMA'S CHIEF FOR ECONOMICS IS SET TO LEAVE"

Well, it's too bad I guess, but I didn't know much about the President's "chief for economics," why he needed one, or what the guy did. I'm also unmoved by the fact that he's leaving and going back to Massachusetts. I didn't read much of the story past the headline.

"LOOKING FOR SOMETHING WHEN LIFE SIGNIFIES NOTHING"

This must be an important story. Maybe I'll read it some day when I'm looking for something.

"CANTORS TRY TO HEAL RIFT THROUGH SONG"

Other than remembering Eddie Cantor when I was young, I don't know much about cantors. They're good people and I'm glad they're trying to heal a rift.

"LIQUID NITROGEN AND THE THIRTY-HOUR CHEESEBURGER"

I like cheeseburgers and have no intention of spoiling what I think of them by reading a story that links them to liquid nitrogen. They don't taste like liquid nitrogen. I wonder what liquid nitrogen tastes like.

"STATEHOUSE GAINS COULD GIVE GOP EDGE ON REDISTRICTING"

I'll have to look up the origin of the nickname GOP (Grand Old Party) and how it got to mean "Republican." I also don't know what they mean by "redistricting." How come the Democrats don't have a nickname? Maybe Democrats should call themselves the "GNP" -- the Grand New Party. People are proud to say they're Democrats or Republicans. I'm proud to say that I'm neither.

"POLITICAL TIES SHIELD BANK IN AFGHANISTAN"

I'm sure this is an important story, but I'm not interested in political ties or banks. Afghanistan, I'm interested in.

"NEW CALL FOR BOYCOTT OF ELECTIONS IN EGYPT"

If everyone in Egypt boycotts their election, will things be better there? I don't think so. I wish I was more interested in Egypt's politics, but I'm not.

"FRENCH STRIKE ADDS TO SARKOZY'S TROUBLES"

Everything that ever happens in France adds to their troubles. I don't know why France always seems to be dealing with some sort of strike. The one thing going for the French is that they cook better than anyone else in the world. Their politics may be all screwed up in France, but when the French go home at night, everyone has a good dinner and a bottle of wine. So it's not all bad.

I don't think Americans know it, but we're not as well-informed about what's going on in the rest of the world as we once were. I know I haven't enlightened you with my insights.

For More Andy Rooney Click Here

 

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

 

  • Andy Rooney: What's News to You is News to Me
  • Andy Rooney: Familiar Names of People and Places
  • Readers Must Wash Hands Before Turning the Page
  • It Pays to Advertise
  • Where Have all the Good Girls Gone?
  • So Many Things, So Little Space
  • Meaningful Numbers in My Life
  • We're Going to Need a Bigger Press Conference
  • Magic, or Love at First Sight
  • I Have Been Known to Save Things
  • I'm King of the Burger!
  • Mad Men
  • 8 Kids with 6 Moms? NFL Star Is Shameful
  • My Kids Have Weird Names, Too
  • Writing and Ditch Digging
  • The President's Residence
  • Slow Train to Albany
  • Get Off My Lawn
  • Money for Nothing
  • 50 Ways to Beat the Heat
  • Things Not to Do Today
  • Lebron James Will Regret Leaving Mediocre Team
  • Is There a Doctor Near My House?
  • Marinades for You and, More Importantly, Me
  • Same Sex Marriage is on its Way
  • Desire is a Terrible Disease
  • Things That Are True II
  • A Collection of Random Thoughts
  • Home, Sweet, Wet Home
  • Bed-Buggin' Out
  • I Want to Like Soccer
  • Up In Smoke
  • How to Become Unemployed in 7 Easy Steps
  • Mommy's Little Polymer
  • Watching My Watch My Way
  • The Tools of My Trade
  • New Jersey is the New Black
  • Man Versus Plant
  • Some Thoughts on Saving and Spending
  • Sure Sign of Summer: Construction Season Returns
  • I'm Not Looking Forward to 40
  • Does This Naked Woman Look Like Me?
  • Money Makes People Jittery
  • BP Oil Spill: And a Child Shall Lead Them
  • Much Ado about Justin Bieber
  • Andy Rooney - How Times Have Changed
  • I've Been Thinking About Women in Government
  • Endless Bummer: The E-Mails of Spring
  • Charity is Never Easy
  • Sound Machine
  • Bits and Pieces in My Mind
  • What Makes a Housewife Desperate
  • Is There an App for That?
  • The Weather Brings Back Pleasant Memories
  • Paying Taxes is a Blast!
  • Tax Reform: How to Fix a Broken System
  • Before You Ask for the Key to a City...
  • View on the News (04/2010)
  • View on the News (02/10)
  • Don't Touch the Celebrity and Other Things to Know When Approaching 'The Famous'
  • Suggestions for New Events at Next Winter Olympics
  • Some Sound Ideas
  • The Great B-17: A World War II Memory
  • It's All Rice and Potatoes to Me ...
  • Three Seasons...Not Four!

For More Andy Rooney Click Here

 

(Write to Andy Rooney at Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207, or via email at aarooney5@yahoo.com)

(c) 2010 Andy Rooney

About Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney born January 14th, 1919 is a writer, humorist, radio and television personality.

Rooney became most famous as a humorist and political commentator with his weekly broadcast on the CBS News Program "60 Minutes" since 1978.

 

Recommend

Search Powered By Google

Google Search   

Advertisement

Advertisement

Job & Career Search

career & job search                    job title, keywords, company, location

Search Powered By Google

Google Search   

Advertisement

Your Ad Here
Your Ad Here

Advertisement

  • HOME
  • WORLD
  • USA
  • BUSINESS
  • WEALTH
  • STOCKS
  • TECH
  • HEALTH
  • LIFESTYLE
  • ENTERTAINMENT
  • SPORTS

What's News to You is News to Me | Andy Rooney

  • Services:
  • RSS Feeds
  • Shopping
  • Email Alerts
  • Site Map
  • Privacy