Of all the seasons, I like spring the least. Spring doesn't start for a couple of weeks, but I thought I'd get a jump on explaining my dislike. I like summer, I like fall and winter, but I've never cared much for spring, especially early spring. If we took a vote, I suppose summer would be the favorite. I'd like it to be fall all 12 months. (That may have something to do with football.)

The trouble with spring is, it doesn't know whether to be winter or summer, and ends up neither. We like it because we've been cold for four months, but spring can be either too cold or too warm. We don't know what to wear.

The month of March ends when spring begins, and seldom do we get a warm day all month. I'd like to see statistics on the use of heating fuel during March. I'll bet we use heating fuel and electricity almost as much in March as in January or February. I think the month of March gives spring a bad name.

It's an amazing thing that we can live on this globe called "Earth." I don't know whether conditions on Earth just happen to be right to support life, or whether living things adapted to the conditions as they evolved. If Earth ever gets a lot warmer or colder, life could become very uncomfortable -- not to mention expensive. Depending on which way things went, people would crowd into Alaska or Florida. A lot of people go to Florida in the winter now, of course, and those of us who stay up North find anyone who likes Florida warmth hard to understand.

Clothes are one of our big expenses in all seasons. (The clothing industry has done a good job of making the lighter clothes we wear in the summer just as expensive as the heavier things we wear in the winter.)

My father traveled in the South most of his life and was the first person I ever knew who wore seersucker. I've since found out that seersucker is a great cloth for covering the body in hot weather. I like khaki but seersucker is cooler.

I spent a month of my life in India, and if I never go back it will be too soon. I like Indian food, but it's a mystery to me why Indian food is made hot to the taste. The temperature in Bombay may be 102 in the shade, but the food is hotter.

The heating and cooling systems we've developed for our houses and work spaces are great. I suppose the time will come when they figure out a way to control the climate of our whole earth. Eventually, we may not need furnaces or air conditioners.

When I was young and my father was out of town, my mother took care of the furnace in the basement. A company dumped tons of coal in our basement every few weeks in the winter, and Mom shoveled it into the furnace. Coal was efficient and kept the house as warm as oil does now.

So now I'm waiting for spring to begin, so I can prepare my house for summer and fall.

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ALSO from andy rooney:

View on the News
Andy Rooney

Ever since World War II, I've been reading and writing headlines, but I look at my newspaper every day and don't understand more than half of them. Some of the headlines are written more to intrigue potential readers than to inform them. but still, we ought to know what they're talking about. Here are some recent examples

My Super Super Bowl Weekend
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There are a lot of things I like to do and a lot of good times of the year. For me, though, the day they play the Super Bowl is best. It's ridiculous to let a game get that big in your life, but I've let it happen.

My Friend Bill Mauldin
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The U.S. Postal Service sent me a notice saying that it will be issuing a stamp honoring Bill Mauldin, the World War II cartoonist. It's the first time any friend of mine has been honored with a stamp by the Postal Service (known to me as 'the Post Office'). I wish they had issued the stamp while Bill was alive so he could have appreciated it. Bill died in 2003.

Strange Case for the Weather
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We'd all like to be able to control the weather or, at the very least, to predict what the weather is going to be where we live.

So, It's 2010!
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I don't know whether it's me or life, but the year 2010 is just around the corner and I was thinking how little I care. One year has gotten to feel just like the last one. We've made a big mistake making January 1 New Year's Day. It doesn't feel like anywhere near the first of the year for me. I'd like to a new New Year's Day ...

Shopping is for Presents And the Birds
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The trouble is, we all tend to buy presents we like without much thought about what the person you're giving the present to would like. Sometimes the people you like best are hardest to get presents for.

My Mailbox Runneth Over
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I would be happy to pay a modest amount if I could be assured of never again getting a catalog that I didn't ask for. My mailbox runneth over.

Thoughts on Chocolate and Cars
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The image and price of things in general has a lot to do with our opinion of them. It seems wrong, but almost always the things that cost the most are considered to be the best

What Are Your Preferences
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We all have favorites. I know the people who are my favorites. I have foods I like, clothes I prefer to wear, places I like to go to, television shows I watch and politicians I vote for. In every case, my preferences include the opposite -- people I hate, food I won't eat, television shows I skip and politicians I can't stand.

One Man's Trash / Treasure ...
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We waste more in the United States than the people of most other countries even have. Driving through the streets of any major city on the day the trash collectors come -- or are supposed to come -- is an experience the citizens of a hundred less prosperous nations would find difficult to believe.

Wouldn't You Like to Be a Politician?
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It's a good thing for all of us that there are people who want to be politicians because you couldn't pay most of us to take the job of mayor, governor or president of anything. Why are there people who want to do such difficult work? We're all glad they do, but why?

How Does Your State Rank
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This column is sort of a cheat because I have a book called 'State Rankings 2009' that you probably don't have. I get to do an easy column once in a while, and this book has some fascinating numbers

The Newspaper Business Then and Now
Andy RooneyThe newspapers keep coming in my office. There's always today's paper before I've finished yesterday's and I get a lot of them. As you know, I'm an avid newspaper reader and I like all the little stories, so the paper takes me a long time to read.

How Does Your Brain Work
Andy Rooney

It may not matter to you, but I wish there was a better way for us to keep track of some of the numbers and information we gather throughout our lives. And then of course I'd like to be able to permanently forget some information. Sometimes I feel that we should be in more control of our brains.

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(Write to Andy Rooney at Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207, or via email at aarooney5@yahoo.com)

(c) 2010 Andy Rooney

About Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney born January 14th, 1919 is a writer, humorist, radio and television personality.

Rooney became most famous as a humorist and political commentator with his weekly broadcast on the CBS News Program "60 Minutes" since 1978.