This morning, I was looking through the magazines in my office hoping to find an idea for something to say on "60 Minutes" next week. Sometimes I get an idea from the publications and sometimes I don't.

There's a lot in the magazines about health insurance, but I'd have a hard time writing anything amusing about health insurance. (They used to say of anything that wasn't funny, "It's funny like a broken leg.") On any list of things that aren't funny, I'd put health insurance ahead of broken legs or anything else I can think of.

We all know by now why the subject of health insurance causes such an uproar. So to be funny, I suppose I could say that everyone is for their health and against their insurance. What's the argument?

There are always lots of ads for watches in magazines. Maybe I'm just a sore loser because I make my living on television, but I don't think watchmakers advertise very much on television.

In one magazine, there's an ad for a Piaget Polo FortyFive. Piaget is an expensive watchmaker. I don't know what the "FortyFive" means. I don't think they have a Piaget FortyFour or a Piaget FortySix. It's an interesting-looking watch, but I have one observation about the ad. I had trouble telling what time it was by looking at the watch. It doesn't have many numbers.

There are numerous ads for earrings and other jewelry in magazines. One shows a pair of earrings that costs $4,900. Maybe I'll call and have them send over a dozen pairs for the women in the office. Since you do get two earrings for the $4,900, maybe the price isn't as bad as it sounds. They really only cost $2,450 dollars per earring.

Frankly, I hate earrings. I don't like the idea of anyone hanging a piece of jewelry from their body, anywhere. Most women and men, who wouldn't think of hanging a ring from their nose, hang rings from their ears all the time. So sue me.

A lot of women's shoes look ridiculous. I counted 25 ads for shoes in one magazine. The heels on some of the shoes were five inches high. How does a woman walk in a shoe with 5-inch heels?

I've noticed that you rarely see ads for women's and men's hats in magazines and newspapers anymore. I think the women's hat business started to decline about 50 years ago. Men and women just don't wear hats as much as they used to. When I was growing up, I always thought that hats were worn more for decoration than warmth.

There are no ads for fedoras in my pile of magazines. I wonder who invented the fedora. The name sounds silly. I remember wearing a Timm's cap, which looked silly but at least it kept your ears warm. I don't know where that name came from, either. A Timm's Cap had earflaps that buttoned along the side of your head when you weren't using them. If you were cold, you buttoned the flaps over your ears and under your chin. Like so many good designs, Timm's caps have all but disappeared.

I'm already seeing a lot of magazine ads for winter clothes. The manufacturers have done a good job with wind- and weather-proofing. It's a lot easier to stay warm and dry now than it used to be. They stopped adding layers of wool and started covering everything with material that kept out wind and water. If the weight of everything you had to wear to keep warm used to be 20 pounds, it's now probably 10 and you're warmer than ever. There are some areas where we've made progress.

That commentary can wait. I think I'll go shopping.

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(Write to Andy Rooney at Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207, or via email at aarooney5@yahoo.com)

(c) 2010 Andy Rooney

About Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney born January 14th, 1919 is a writer, humorist, radio and television personality.

Rooney became most famous as a humorist and political commentator with his weekly broadcast on the CBS News Program "60 Minutes" since 1978.