5 Ways Your Negative Friends Can Drag You Down
Robert Pagliarini
Maybe you've experienced this, too. When you've made a commitment to try to live your best life, to start a side business in the other eight hours, to lose weight or go back to school, weren't you flooded with acceptance, enthusiasm and unconditional support from your friends, colleagues and family? No? I didn't think so. All too often, if you try to better yourself, you will likely face negativity and pessimism from those who are closest to you. Why would those who care about you the most also be the most critical? There are only two reasons. They either don't want to see you fail or they don't want to see you succeed. It's that simple. They're either trying to "protect" you from defeat, or they're worried that you might succeed. I've seen this time and time again. Misery loves company and despises success. If you catapult your life to a new level, your friends may feel threatened or left behind.
Their criticism might arrive in obvious forms like, "That's a stupid idea," or it might be the less blatant but equally deflating kind: "That's interesting. Good luck with that." It's going to hurt. It might throw you to the extent that you decide to give up before you even get started. I don't want this to happen to you. So let's go through some of the more common criticisms you'll hear and try to understand why those who mean the most can also be the meanest.
1. "You've tried [fill in the blank] before, and it didn't work."
That's probably true. Sometimes it takes several attempts to achieve something. Failing once, twice or even two dozen times has no power or influence over your next attempt. In fact, for drug and alcohol addiction counseling, relapse is anticipated. It's not shameful -- it's simply part of recovery.
2. "You've never done [fill in the blank] before."
Just because you haven't done something before doesn't mean you can't do it in the future. I think one of the biggest hurdles in achieving change is putting too much weight on the past -- what you've done, what you haven't done, etc. Tomorrow isn't determined by yesterday. Whatever you're trying to achieve, start small. Learn the ropes. Take classes. But just start. The first step might feel awkward, but you'll learn what works and what doesn't. Sometimes you've just got to take the plunge.
3. "Don't you know that most people fail?"
People fail all the time. You've got to know this going in and not be surprised if your first, or fifth or fifteenth, attempt doesn't work out as well as you'd hoped. Of course, a swing and a miss doesn't have to be the end of the ball game. Keep your eye on the prize. Focus on your dream and on what you can control. Look around. Not everybody fails. There are millions of people who are flourishing, and there's no reason why you can't have a richer life, too.
4. "That's an interesting idea/invention, but I just don't think people will buy it."
Who died and made this person
5. "Are you sure you want to face rejection and failure?"
History is littered with people who were rejected but who persevered. For example, there was once a writer who had an idea for a book about a boy wizard. She took this idea to twelve publishers, and they all told her, "No way and no thanks." Finally, a little
Be prepared for negativity and to hear your family and friends criticize your desire for a better life. Don't let it throw you off track. Use it to propel you forward. Of course, if it gets to be too much, you could always fire your negative friends.
"
and the national best-seller
"The Six-Day Financial Makeover: Transform Your Financial Life in Less Than a Week!
."
Available at Amazon.com:
Cookoff: Recipe Fever in America
Organized Kidz: E-Z Solutions for Clutter-Free Living
- 5 Ways Your Negative Friends Can Drag You Down
- How to (Finally!) Agree About Money
- How to Maintain Friendships After College
- How to Fight
- Toss out Toxic Relationships
- Make the Honeymoon Period Last
- Friending Your Frenemy
- Addition by Subtraction: Don't Let Bad Friends Drag You Down
- Make Your Relationships Make You Smile
- Keep Your Relationship Exciting
- The Grudge Report
- How to Stop Being Late
- Dealing With the Dreaded Friendship Triangle
- Decoding the College Hookup Scene
- Dating Apps: The Lowdown
- The Secret to Sex After 40
- How to Be Popular
- Six Signs She's Just Not That Into You
- Win Women Over with Your Smartphone
- Dating a Jock
- 6 Steps to Great Communication
- The Real Scoop on Sisters
- How Jealous Friends Sabotage Your Health
- Friend Friction
- Play Your Summer Romance Into Overtime
- Should You Let a Friendship Go?
- 5 Tips to Getting Along With Your Roommate
- Why Office Dating May Be More Dangerous in This Economy
- Perfect Summer Dates
- Bust a Rut, Lose Your Gut
- Can You Keep a Secret?
- Shut Down the Boy Drama!
- How Do You Rank as a Roommate?
- What to Say to Women
- Pair up for a Group Date
- Good Friends, Good Health
- The Summer Fun Starts Here
- 5 Rules of Facebook Etiquette
- Make the New Girl Your New Friend
- Stand up for Yourself Without Creating Conflict
- 5 Ways to Tell She Digs You
- Girlfriends Rule
- Triple Threat of Toxic Friends
- Sharing a Room With a Sibling
- Beginner's Guide to Dating Boys
- Get Along With Your Parents
- Make Nice With Mom
Copyright © 2011 CBS INTERACTIVE INC. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES INC.
