ECONOMICS |
EDUCATION |
ENVIRONMENT |
FOREIGN POLICY |
POLITICS |
OPINION |
TRADE
U.S. CITIES:
Northwest Flight 253: A No-Fly List? Count Me In
Jonah Goldberg
Almost exactly 10 years ago, I boarded a
The source of the preflight disturbance? I'd smacked my enormous gourd of a head on a television hanging from the ceiling above the center aisle that hadn't been stowed for boarding. I lifted my hand to my scalp and drew back a palm glistening with fresh blood.
The response from the flight attendants? A shrug from one and the faint hint of a chuckle from another. They went back to their conversation. Dumbfounded, I proceeded to my seat to nurse my head wound, fuming over the fact that customer service at even the most rancid highway-rest-stop taco joint requires providing a moist towelette for seeping head wounds.
It's not the worst flight-from-hell story. Heck, it's not even my worst flight-from-hell story. So what's my point?
Well, for starters, it's a small reminder that flying before 9/11 was already awful, and it has only become worse.
Over the weekend, an idiot walked the wrong way through a secure exit for arriving passengers at
Now, I should back up. When I referred to the "sterile" side of the security barrier, I was using the term narrowly, to refer to folks who'd been through the metal detectors. Because to use the word "sterile" in its usual context in a sentence with "airports" -- those belching Petri dishes of bathroom effluence and unidentifiable noisome miasma -- would be a grotesque abrogation of journalistic trust.
According to the latest epidemiological research, airports reside somewhere between no-frills brothels and Penn State fraternity bathrooms when it comes to hygiene. USA Today recently surveyed the health inspection records of airport restaurants and found that serious code violations were as commonplace as rat and mouse droppings; 77 percent of 35 restaurants reviewed at
I could go on, of course. The petty humiliations, the routine deceptions from airline employees desperate to rid themselves of troublesome travelers ("Oh, they can definitely help you at the gate!"), the stress-position seats, the ever-changing rules for what can and cannot be in your carry-on, being charged for food that the
And speaking of unwelcome intrusions, the current debate over the "underwear bomber" is important and necessary, but it is detached from basic reality. To listen to the experts, the only relevant choice is between privacy and security. But the average person already understands that privacy is something you have to compromise to fly. The white zone has been for unloading your dignity and civil liberties for generations. This isn't to say that retaining what's left of our privacy isn't an important priority. But I, for one, would gladly sacrifice more privacy in exchange for more decency and efficiency. As it stands,
Public-private partnerships are all the rage these days. Progressives insist the judicious application of regulations, the cooperation of "responsible" corporations and the acquiescence of the American people are all that's needed to deliver everything from high-quality and affordable health care to "green" cars that run on little more than love for mother Earth.
No realm of American life is as auspiciously fecund with precisely such conditions as air travel. So -- put up or shut up.
- Northwest Flight 253: Obama Slams Failed Intelligence Calls for Reform
- Northwest Flight 253: Obama and Congress Probe How The Airport Screening System Failed
- Northwest Flight 253: Cheney vs. Obama in Renewed Terrorism Fight
- Northwest Flight 253: Questions Must Be Asked But Not These
- Northwest Flight 253: A No-Fly List? Count Me In
- Terrorism: A War by Any Other Name
- Before Boarding Plane Remove All Clothing
- Asleep on the Terrorist Watch: Northwest Flight 253
- Obama Asks for Vigilance After Attempted Terrorist Attack
- Northwest Flight 253: Targeting the Prime Enemy
- Northwest Flight 253: Multiple Malfunctions
- Northwest Flight 253: Fighting Among Ourselves Helps How
Northwest Flight 253: A No-Fly List? Count Me In | Jonah Goldberg
(c) 2010 Jonah Goldberg